Color Full Lives, Season 5

(soft instrumental music)

0:03

- Welcome to an all new season

0:05

of Color Full Lives presented by State Farm.

0:07

I'm so happy to be back with my ladies.

0:09

- Oh my gosh Schmoney Team unite.

0:12

- I know we're back.

0:13

This is so exciting.

0:15

- And we've got a lot of things happen in our lives.

0:17

Last time we saw you, you were still pregnant.

0:20

- Oh my gosh yes I had a whole --

0:22

- You have a whole human being that you made.

0:23

- A whole little awesome human,

0:25

I'm about 60 pounds lighter

0:27

(chuckles)

0:28

do I look the same?

0:29

Do I like look like look like Tonya?

0:30

- You look as talented

0:31

and as beautiful as ever.

0:32

- Yes, yes thank you so much.

0:35

Knowing you guys, Angela, you finished

0:37

your property that you were.

0:38

- Oh yes.

0:39

I finished flipping one property in Detroit,

0:41

I still have two, one of them

0:42

I'm keeping one of them I'm selling

0:43

and I'm also in the process of acquiring

0:45

another property in Brooklyn.

0:47

- What?

0:47

- Yes condo in Williamsburg.

0:49

- We'll say mogul.

0:50

- And I launched my Drink Fresh Juice business.

0:52

- You did, you did.

0:54

- A lot happened cause you guys motivated me.

0:56

- Oh my God

0:57

and I forgot to share, I did start

0:58

a nonprofit like well after I had the baby,

1:00

it inspired me to start a nonprofit

1:03

for mothers who want to experience

1:05

pregnancy on their terms but might

1:07

not have the financial means.

1:08

So I'm really excited about that.

1:09

- That's amazing.

1:10

- That's so cool.

1:11

I love that.

1:12

- The last time your baby was on the way too.

1:13

(laughs)

1:14

- Yes.

1:16

- My child, I wrote a whole book.

1:18

- Yes.

1:19

- I wrote a book with my friend Anne Friedman,

1:20

it's so exciting.

1:21

- I can't wait to read that book I mean.

1:23

- It's gonna be out in 2020 but

1:24

the bulk of the work is done so.

1:26

- And that was a process for you

1:28

which was a great process.

1:29

But I'm so happy when you were done,

1:31

she hit us up like I've finished my book.

1:34

- I finished my book because you guys

1:35

motivated me so much you know like I was doing that

1:38

and doing the show with you last season

1:39

and also I like learned a lot

1:41

so it was really exciting for me.

1:43

- Cause that's what this is all about.

1:44

And this season we're focusing on

1:46

the things that we wish we knew

1:47

before major life events.

1:49

And this week's episode, we're going

1:51

to dig into all the things that

1:52

you should know before getting into debts.

1:55

There are many different ways to accrue debt,

1:57

we all know that, but there's nothing

1:58

wrong with having debt

1:59

and in fact paying off the debt can

2:01

actually help you build your credit.

2:04

So how can you request a credit limit?

2:06

- So a credit, well a credit loan

2:08

or a credit line increase, a lot of times

2:10

what you can do is you can log on

2:12

to your mobile app or whatever it may be

2:15

however you do your banking

2:17

and you can apply in there.

2:19

It's a lot easier now for people

2:21

to apply for credit or to apply

2:22

for a credit line increase.

2:24

You just wanna make sure that you have

2:26

information about your financials

2:28

accessible et cetera because of course

2:30

if they're going to give you money

2:31

or give you debt, they wanna

2:32

make sure you can pay it back.

2:33

- Of course.

2:34

- That's not gonna be anything out of

2:35

the ordinary it's gonna be like, what do you do?

2:38

- Right.

2:39

And they usually ask your like what your income is

2:40

and they, you know, there's a whole process for that

2:42

and you can also just call, I call all the time.

2:45

I just call them and say like what are my options?

2:48

- Yeah.

2:49

- What are my options?

2:49

- And then a lot of times you pay on time,

2:51

it automatically, they automatically give it to you.

2:53

I'm sure you guys you know, you're going

2:54

about your day minding your business

2:56

and you get an alert, like your credit line

2:57

has increased, I mean credit line

2:59

has increased by X , Y, Z amount of dollars.

3:02

- And don't forget you don't have

3:03

to use all that credit.

3:04

- Yeah.

3:04

- By the way you don't have to push it to the limit.

3:05

- That's not what the line means.

3:06

(laughs)

3:07

- Yeah.

3:08

It's just like you have it available

3:09

but it's like we really don't want you

3:10

to use this cause if you use it all,

3:12

like they want you to use it but

3:13

they don't want you to use it all.

3:14

- Don't max out baby.

3:15

- They kind of want you to use it all though

3:17

because then they can get the money,

3:18

like you pay fees on that and et cetera.

3:20

But that will drop your credit score.

3:22

- For your own sanity.

3:23

- But if you're you know, if you're someone

3:25

who you pay off your credit card

3:26

on time every month, that's always good for you.

3:28

And also the more credit you have,

3:30

the smaller you know, the smaller percentage

3:32

of it that you use, the better it is

3:34

for your credit overall.

3:35

So that's why it's nice to have

3:36

a very large credit limit.

3:37

- Right.

3:38

- But it's also great to not

3:39

keep up with the Joneses on your credit limit.

3:41

So that's the secret.

3:43

- And I like to pay off my credit card

3:45

bill every month when possible.

3:47

If you can do that, I think that's

3:48

great for your credit score.

3:49

Also when they see that you're you know,

3:52

charging whatever, but then you also

3:53

are being able to pay it off every month.

3:55

- Yeah.

3:56

And you know I think when I'm working

3:57

with people, there are some people

3:58

who have concerns are like you know,

3:59

Tonya, I can't afford to pay this off at once.

4:02

And so you know, pay the minimum,

4:04

you have that minimum, they're like at minimum,

4:06

this is what you need to pay to

4:07

remain in our good graces.

4:09

And for some people that's all they can afford to do.

4:11

But if you can afford to do more,

4:13

do more because the more you pay off,

4:15

the more it benefits your credit score,

4:17

the more you're keeping that utilization

4:19

below the magic number, which is 30% of the utilization

4:22

and it just helps you out in the long run.

4:24

It helps you pay less in interest,

4:26

helps you avoid those fees

4:27

and it's just better all around because

4:29

when you're borrowing money then

4:31

you don't really, you have to pay someone back

4:33

and it's not your money when you make money,

4:35

it's their money until you've paid them back

4:37

and then it becomes your money once

4:38

you're done paying them off.

4:39

- So don't ignore those bills.

4:41

At least pay the minimum at least.

4:44

- And if you don't, they'll definitely

4:44

remind you about it so.

4:46

(chuckles)

4:47

- And if you miss a payment or

4:48

you miss two payments, that does really

4:49

hurt your credit score.

4:50

I know I did that before

4:52

and it wasn't on purpose not like

4:53

I didn't have it but I just missed it

4:55

and I definitely saw my credit score drop

4:57

just from missing a payment.

4:58

- I feel like things are so instant now

5:00

you can miss one payment

5:01

and you'd get an alert in your email

5:03

almost immediately letting you know.

5:05

But the thing to keep in mind is that

5:06

you know, 30 days you have about

5:08

a 30 day grace period from that missed payment

5:10

but then after that 30th day then it goes,

5:12

you know that mark will go on into your credit history

5:16

and you can't change your credit history

5:18

like that's one thing you can't change,

5:20

once that's in there you know,

5:22

you have to call them and they have to amend it

5:23

and they don't really wanna do that.

5:25

- Also you can pick the date that

5:26

you wanna pay your credit card.

5:27

That's a thing that I didn't realize,

5:28

I would get really stressed out,

5:29

I was like, but I get paid on this day,

5:31

but all my bills are due on this other day.

5:33

And actually I was like oh, you can just call people

5:35

and say I wanna pay my bills on this.

5:37

You can do that with your gas company,

5:39

you can do that with your credit card,

5:40

usually takes like one pay cycle to happen.

5:42

But you don't have to feel that

5:44

you have to be disorganized about

5:45

that kind of stuff.

5:46

- Right

5:46

and with any relationship, communication is key right?

5:48

- [Tonya] So important.

5:49

- So some of us are experiencing financial hardships

5:52

and the best thing that you can do

5:53

is talk to your lender.

5:54

A lot of them are very understanding,

5:56

if you let them know what's going on

5:57

and you work out a plan.

5:59

They can also tell you if there is

6:00

programs that are available that

6:01

they can help you out with.

6:02

So communication is key.

6:04

- Yeah

6:05

and most people you know, we think about

6:06

when we open up new accounts,

6:08

when we move into a new place and so forth

6:10

usually it's around the first of the month

6:12

if you're moving into a new apartment or so forth

6:14

and so your bill is gonna be due

6:16

the day you opened that account.

6:17

And so unless you change it, you're gonna

6:19

be paying your rent, your mortgage or whatever else

6:22

and the bills that you opened up

6:23

around that time frame.

6:24

So it is important to call ahead of time,

6:26

not on the due date, so call ahead of time,

6:29

I mean they'll be like you know what,

6:30

we need to pay this today

6:31

and then we'll change it around for you.

6:33

But yeah you can go ahead

6:34

and you can make changes.

6:35

I know for me, I like to make,

6:36

I like to pay all my other bills

6:38

in the middle of the month

6:39

and then I pay you know, the major bills

6:41

at the beginning of the month.

6:42

- Right.

6:43

- So just spread it around.

6:44

- You know and thinking also about

6:45

like staying on top of all of that stuff.

6:46

One of the things that's really important

6:48

I think if you have a credit card

6:49

is to have some sort of credit monitoring service.

6:51

- Oh my gosh.

6:52

- You know like I was telling,

6:53

I was telling y'all earlier about how I,

6:56

you know something just popped up

6:57

on my credit card bill that was like,

6:58

this is, I did not spend this money

7:00

and if I wasn't paying attention to it,

7:03

then it would've never, it would've been an issue.

7:05

And so I think that like you know,

7:07

the more technology is a part of your life,

7:08

the more you should be really,

7:10

you should actually really pay attention

7:12

to that because even the big banks

7:13

and big companies all have data breaches.

7:16

So you don't have to lose your wallet

7:17

for your information to be compromised.

7:19

It's compromised because you've

7:20

shared it with someone.

7:21

And so part of being responsible financially

7:24

is also really being responsible

7:25

for your cyber health

7:27

and you know and a lot of credit cards

7:30

and a lot of services will offer you

7:32

credit monitoring for free.

7:33

So you don't have to feel that

7:34

that's something that it costs on top

7:37

of what you're doing, it's pretty cheap to get.

7:39

And I think that it's a good way to implement

7:41

a system for yourself where you are

7:43

watching your financial health at all times.

7:45

- Yes I definitely manage my credit

7:47

and I wasn't, I was only proactive about it

7:49

when something happened to me.

7:51

- Can I ask y'all a question of something

7:52

that I, I have credit cards

7:54

and I'm happy with how I use my credit cards

7:55

but I have to say I'm a little bit ashamed

7:57

that I don't quite understand interest rates.

8:00

So like for me I'm always you know,

8:01

when I get a credit card, I never think like

8:03

oh, the interest for this is 30% versus 20%.

8:06

I just know that because, because of the way

8:08

that I live, I just pay it off.

8:09

- [Tonya] That's really high interest by the way.

8:11

- Yeah.

8:12

- Right but that's what I'm talking about.

8:13

I never understand that.

8:14

So it's not a point of consideration that I have

8:15

and I'm just wondering like do you,

8:18

can you explain that to me?

8:18

Like what is, what should I be thinking

8:20

about when I'm opening a new credit card

8:22

with the APR situation?

8:24

- So interest is essentially the money

8:26

they're charging you to use the card.

8:27

It's like nothing in life is free

8:29

and that's how they're making their money.

8:30

So whenever they lend you money,

8:31

they're charging them, charging you

8:33

a percentage on top of that that you are

8:34

responsible for paying

8:36

and also with the money that they lend to you.

8:38

- Unless you pay it off.

8:39

- And unless you pay it off or unless

8:41

it's a 0% interest rate card, which those do exist.

8:44

And so when you're looking for a card,

8:45

the first thing you wanna look for

8:46

is a card that comes with 0% interest.

8:48

A lot of times it's a promotional.

8:51

- It starts off.

8:52

- Opportunity yes, it's like a 12 to 18 month period.

8:54

- I don't know like it's gonna be

8:55

$495 if you keep this card.

8:57

- Yeah, well then that's the annual fee

8:59

and then they'll tack on you know,

9:00

their interest rate, which is like you know,

9:01

27% sometimes or 18%, credit card interest

9:05

rate is just higher.

9:06

Our credit card interest rates are higher

9:08

because the balances tend to be smaller.

9:10

So but I have seen some auto loans

9:13

with credit card interest rates

9:15

but most of the time auto loans are

9:17

around zero to three, zero to 8% interest rate.

9:22

But that's just because it's a larger

9:24

amount that you're borrowing so

9:25

they're gonna make more money over

9:27

the time of that loan.

9:27

So to think about is interest is

9:29

the money that you pay to borrow debt.

9:31

- And when you have better credit,

9:32

you get a lower interest rate usually.

9:34

- Which doesn't seem like it makes sense right?

9:36

Like the better your credit is

9:37

but I guess it's an incentive for

9:38

people who have good credit to utilize the services.

9:40

- It's also because they trust you.

9:41

- Yeah.

9:42

They feel more confident that

9:43

you'll be able to pay this back

9:43

and pay it on time.

9:44

- Exactly.

9:45

- Just a reward for you having done the right.

9:47

(laughs)

9:48

- Yeah but interest is you know,

9:49

as long as you pay your bill off every month,

9:51

then you can avoid that interest.

9:52

But I think that a lot of people

9:55

have anxiety when it comes to debt.

9:56

And I was really interested to find out

9:58

from you guys, what are some of the things

9:59

that you learned about debt or heard

10:01

about debt growing up?

10:03

- I thought that all debt was bad

10:05

and I think that it's, it's a very

10:08

immigrant kind of way to be you know,

10:09

it's like you don't borrow money from people,

10:11

you just, you don't need debt.

10:13

But that's not how America works in fact.

10:15

- [Tonya] No it's not.

10:16

- In fact I didn't get my first

10:17

credit card until I was almost 30.

10:19

And I have to say that that really hurt me

10:22

in the long run right, because I had

10:23

to establish my credit, I had to

10:26

and I'm somebody who travels a lot for example

10:28

and I didn't realize that I was always

10:31

like having to pay the, you know,

10:33

like I didn't have a card to like hold my room

10:35

and so I would always have to like leave

10:37

the entire, like to rent a car, to do whatever

10:40

and you know it's like if they do that

10:42

on a debit card for example, you don't see

10:43

that money for like weeks right?

10:45

Because they have debited the whole thing

10:47

from your account.

10:47

- Which dings a lot of people.

10:49

- Right.

10:50

And sometimes it's a hole too

10:51

when you get a room

10:51

and you have a debit card

10:53

and they hold that money

10:54

and then now you don't have access to

10:55

your own money.

10:56

- [Tonya] While you're on vacation.

10:57

- So it's just you know

10:58

and I think that psychologically

10:59

is really hard for me is I have a hard time

11:01

like carrying debt, it's why I pay

11:03

my credit card off every month.

11:04

But it's also because I haven't had

11:05

to use my credit card to do any kind

11:06

of investment right, I was like,

11:08

I'm using it to pay for the things that I need

11:11

and get the perks that I want for

11:12

the cards that I have.

11:13

So the money is always, the money

11:15

is always allocated.

11:16

Even if I do a big purchase, I usually

11:18

will transfer it immediately.

11:19

I pay my credit card off multiple times

11:21

in the month because I just don't like

11:23

carrying the balance.

11:24

But I think that in the long, like that was,

11:26

it was not a good way of thinking

11:27

because it costs you a lot not to participate

11:31

in the credit card economy. - Yes it does.

11:33

- You know

11:33

and so I'm somebody who, you know,

11:35

I'm like now I'm like I'm reasonably

11:37

financially healthy but I've had

11:38

to play a lot of catch up.

11:39

And if I had known that earlier in my twenties,

11:42

I would've made different decisions right.

11:44

And so it's, I just think that it's,

11:47

you have to really weigh your own

11:49

like bias against actually the reality

11:51

of what the financial market is.

11:53

- Well I grew up getting credit cards

11:55

as soon as I was in college.

11:56

(laughs)

11:57

As a freshman I signed up for two

11:59

credit cards cause you know, they are

12:00

on campus like.

12:01

- Giving you a pizza and a T-shirt.

12:03

- Here's T-shirt right, here's a water bottle.

12:05

(laughs)

12:06

- Yeah but I did not fall for that.

12:07

(laughs)

12:08

- Well I fell for it

12:09

and I think my whole life growing up,

12:10

my mom, she uses credit cards all the time.

12:13

Like her credit card bills are crazy

12:15

and she's the type of person who will pay

12:16

the minimum for ever and still keep charging things up

12:19

and not open a bill when it comes.

12:21

And so there would be a bunch of unopened

12:22

bills in the drawer in the kitchen

12:24

cause she just knew I'm not opening this.

12:26

So I think I fell into that habit

12:28

when I was in college of running up

12:29

my credit cards to the limit.

12:31

I think the limit was $600 but I didn't have it.

12:34

- But we started out with those micro limits, yeah.

12:34

- I didn't have it cause you know it was college

12:37

and I had two credit cards.

12:39

I remember I went to the mall

12:40

when I got one of them

12:40

and I bought like a brand new coat

12:42

and I just maxed it out like right away immediately.

12:45

- The first day.

12:46

- Yeah immediately okay.

12:47

- Wow.

12:48

- And so that's been my relationship

12:49

with credit cards so it's taken me a while

12:51

like I've always been in debt,

12:52

graduated from college in debt,

12:54

I remember my grandfather gave me like a check

12:56

and I had to use all of it to pay off

12:58

but my credit card debt but it was

12:59

a good feeling to be able to do that

13:02

even though I didn't have any fun money

13:03

to play with after that, at least

13:04

I paid off those credit cards but then

13:07

my credit was ruined for a period of time.

13:09

So it took a while for me to re-establish my credit

13:11

and I remember when I went to get my car

13:14

and I didn't need anybody to co-sign it for me,

13:16

that was so exciting that I have

13:17

finally gotten myself into a space where

13:20

I don't need to ask somebody to co-sign

13:21

for a car for me, I can do it on my own.

13:23

- Yeah, this feels like it's freeing, isn't it?

13:25

And I think that's one of the things about

13:26

you know, having bad credit or having debt

13:28

is it can complicate your life if

13:30

you're not in a good place with it.

13:32

That's where a lot of the anxiety comes from

13:34

I mean, that's why I started my Fab finance

13:35

was because I made so many bad mistakes,

13:38

I was like you Angela, but I don't even think

13:39

I got a free shirt when I got my first credit card.

13:41

I was like just here, ruin my credit for free.

13:43

Like just don't give me anything.

13:44

- Oh man you didn't get a shirt?

13:45

- I didn't get a shirt, I didn't get pizza,

13:46

I didn't get like a Frisbee, nothing.

13:49

But I was going to Miami right before

13:51

I got my credit card in the mail

13:53

so I bought things when I was in Miami

13:55

and you can't tell 18 year old Tonya nothing

13:57

who's on South beach buying things through her credit cards.

13:59

- [Angela] Absolutely not.

14:00

- Full adult with no job to pay this credit card off.

14:03

But I learned from that

14:05

and my parents always spoke about credit,

14:07

but they didn't talk about how credit

14:08

worked other than paying your bills on time.

14:10

So for me I didn't understand keeping

14:12

my utilization low, that I needed to keep

14:14

my limits low or my balance low so that

14:16

I could maintain good credit.

14:18

But it was, I remember I learned

14:21

a valuable lesson about credit when

14:22

I went to go finance my first car

14:24

and my father thought that he was gonna

14:26

have to co-sign with me because by this time

14:29

I had paid off those credit cards and everything

14:31

and he thought he was gonna have to co-sign

14:32

and they were like actually, your interest rate

14:34

is better if your father is not on the loan.

14:35

- Wow I'm doing better than you dad.

14:37

- I was like

14:40

and I think that was a wake up call

14:42

for my father though, because now my dad pays

14:44

everything off, like his car is paid off,

14:47

his motorcycles are paid off, he's about

14:49

to buy a boat, he's like nope.

14:51

So now he pays everything off

14:52

and I think it was a thing.

14:53

- That's good, you taught him.

14:54

- Like my daughter, she was better off without me.

14:56

It's not supposed to work like that.

14:57

- But you know also the thing

14:58

I'm like, I love that we talk about

15:00

this stuff so much because the problem

15:02

with all of these things are that

15:03

people feel so much shame right?

15:05

Like you just, it's so personal, it's so shameful

15:07

and then you get caught up in these situations

15:09

where you're like oh, I got to rent

15:10

an apartment with my partner, or I need a car

15:13

and my dad is there.

15:14

And then so the, your financial situation

15:17

always comes up in a stressful moment

15:19

whereas like if actually you have

15:21

a way to talk about it and you're not ashamed

15:23

and you're not embarrassed because

15:24

everybody will have money problems.

15:27

If you have $600 or $6 million is like

15:29

money problems can come knocking at your door

15:31

and you just need good financial hygiene.

15:33

And part of that is not, is really releasing

15:36

the shame of talking about it.

15:37

And I really hope that that's what

15:39

we're doing by having all these conversations.

15:41

- We're talking a lot about getting

15:43

into debt in this week's episode

15:45

and we do hope that sharing our perspective helps.

15:47

But this podcast isn't the only resource,

15:50

there's nearly 19000 State Farm agents

15:52

across the US who are waiting to help

15:54

protect what's important to you

15:56

and guide you through major life milestones.

15:58

For this week's ask an agent segment,

16:00

we reached out to Zanetta Harris Glover

16:02

who has an office in Newark, New Jersey

16:04

and got some practical advice before dealing with debt.

16:07

- Hey ladies,

16:08

I hear all the time from clients

16:10

who are stressed out about debt.

16:12

Here are some of my favorite strategies

16:14

for tackling debt.

16:15

Make sure you pay more than the minimum

16:17

payments each month and on time.

16:19

These are some of the most important

16:21

factors that affect your credit

16:23

impacting 35% of your credit score.

16:27

Pull your credit report to check for accuracy.

16:30

Think of your credit score as your

16:32

final GPA in school then your credit report

16:35

is the transcript of all your classes.

16:37

Make sure everything on the report is correct.

16:40

Removing incorrect information could

16:42

cause a quick bump up in your score.

16:45

Look at your credit report to pinpoint

16:47

where your setbacks happen in the first place.

16:49

High credit card balances, missed payments,

16:52

too many open accounts, turn this knowledge

16:54

of what happened in your past to improve

16:56

your financial actions in the future.

16:59

Also check out annualcreditreport.com

17:02

to get a free copy of your report.

17:05

Keep in mind there are a number of

17:06

online resources that will provide you

17:08

with your score for free.

17:10

For more tips on managing, consolidating

17:13

and controlling your debt, talk to your

17:15

local State Farm agent or visit us@statefarm.com

17:20

- For the second half of today's episode,

17:22

we're joined by Dasarte Yarnway,

17:24

the founder of the Berknell financial group.

17:27

Hello Dasarte.

17:28

- Hey.

17:28

- Hi.

17:29

- He's the author of \

17:32

a millennial guide to understanding equity compensation

17:34

and young money for proven actions

17:37

to design your wealth while you still can.

17:39

He's also the host of the Young Money podcast.

17:43

Welcome to the show Dasarte.

17:44

- Thank you for having me.

17:45

- [Tonya] We're so excited to have you here.

17:46

- I'm excited to be here.

17:47

- We're so excited to have you here,

17:48

I really wanna talk with you about you know,

17:50

the big picture versus the little picture

17:53

a little bit because I think that

17:54

some people get really, equity is a word

17:57

that not everybody understands

17:59

and so I'm just wondering if you can

18:01

talk about you know, what are some of

18:03

the strategies for focusing on the big picture?

18:05

Something like saving for a home,

18:07

not getting sidetracked by you know,

18:09

we're saying it's smaller stuff,

18:11

but it's still the day to day that

18:13

people have to worry about.

18:14

- Right well you know that we have

18:15

a world full of distractions right?

18:17

So it's easy to get off track.

18:18

I think that what we do is we try to focus on big wins

18:21

and small wins right?

18:23

So there's gonna be a big one, which is the home

18:25

that you wanna buy, but there's milestones,

18:27

kind of like check points that you make,

18:28

should make along the way that are small victories.

18:31

That's when you can celebrate

18:32

and say hey, I saved $10000 or $5000 that's a small win.

18:36

Or I paid down that credit card, that's a small win

18:38

and these will help you realize

18:40

the big win at the end of the day.

18:41

- So when you celebrate, like I say $10000

18:43

is it okay to spend 1000?

18:45

- You have to reward yourself right?

18:46

- I'm kidding.

18:47

(laughs)

18:49

- You have to reward yourself, I think

18:50

that's healthy right?

18:51

But it's important to have those spaces

18:52

in place where you can say I did this right,

18:54

I have this momentum and I can keep it going.

18:56

- I know

18:57

and I also feel like, just like when

18:58

you have a diet or you're on a fitness regimen,

19:00

is it important to allow yourself

19:02

to have a little bit of cheating every now and then?

19:05

- Absolutely.

19:05

I think that you have to build that in though right?

19:06

So you have a budget, you can't be

19:08

too stringent or too tight, like use

19:10

the diet for an example right?

19:11

You're counting calories

19:12

and you're doing all of this

19:13

and you want that donut, like it's okay to build in.

19:16

- I had two yesterday.

19:18

I had two donuts, it started out as half

19:19

and it ended up as two.

19:20

- Right it's okay though to build that in

19:22

to say like today is my designated cheat day,

19:23

I'm gonna buy something for myself

19:25

at the end of this quarter right?

19:26

I think if you don't do that, you're destined for failure.

19:28

- Or you're gonna chew this doughnut

19:29

and spit it out?

19:30

- Oh no no.

19:31

It is going on the journey okay.

19:33

(laughs)

19:34

But yeah and I think that also you know,

19:36

Dasarte, your book, \

19:38

talks about you know, debt.

19:39

So even like big debt versus small debt.

19:42

How do you feel about that?

19:43

- I feel, see this is the thing

19:44

about our community right?

19:45

We think that debt free means that you're wealthy

19:48

and that's a lie.

19:49

- [Tonya] Okay.

19:50

- Wow say that again.

19:50

- Right debt free does not mean wealthy,

19:52

sometimes you have to accumulate debt

19:54

to realize what I call, what we call

19:55

multi generational wealth.

19:56

There is no way that many people

19:57

are paying for houses in cash right?

20:00

You're not doing that.

20:02

Sometimes you might have to accumulate

20:03

business debt right?

20:04

To start that business which can pay you

20:06

10 X versus what your employer can pay

20:08

and Tonya you're a good example of that right?

20:09

So it's like.

20:10

- Don't tell my business it's out there.

20:12

(laughs)

20:13

- Like you've built your business right

20:14

and you've done it really well.

20:15

So I think that that's something that you have to do.

20:18

Debt free does not mean wealthy

20:19

and in some circumstances you have

20:20

to accumulate some debt to get to the next level.

20:22

- You know also like we were talking about

20:26

a little earlier, you just made me think

20:27

a lot about the psychology behind spending

20:30

and just how so much of all the spending

20:32

that we do is done subconsciously.

20:34

I think about you know, how some of these

20:36

like retailers online just follow you.

20:38

- Right.

20:39

- And next thing you know you're

20:40

getting served an ad

20:41

and so much of retailers just preying on your impulses.

20:44

And so you know, I think that thinking

20:46

about it as something you have to be

20:47

really mindful of, do I actually need to buy this?

20:50

If I go, you know, if I just take a break

20:52

and I go you know, sometimes I do this,

20:54

I'm like I just go for a walk

20:55

and I was like if I come back after the walk,

20:57

do I still need to pay for the thing?

20:59

And just you know, diffusing that tension.

21:02

- And when there's a sale sometimes too

21:03

you're like oh my gosh, it's on sale now

21:05

so I have to get it cause it won't be on sale anymore.

21:07

- That's a spending trigger though,

21:08

that time limitation making you think

21:10

that if you don't do it now you won't ever

21:11

get this opportunity.

21:12

That is a spending trigger.

21:13

- Yeah it just feels like a lot of pressure.

21:15

Do you do some, like how do you feel about

21:17

like mindful you know and emotional trauma.

21:20

- Yeah and I think that's where you have

21:20

that wiggle room or whatever your

21:21

budget is for it right?

21:22

We think about you shopping for an example,

21:25

a jeans costs $100 right?

21:28

It's 30% off, it's $70.

21:29

We think we just saved $30.

21:31

- I got a bargain.

21:32

- You got a bargain, you got it for the low right?

21:34

When essentially it's still $70 saved.

21:36

So I feel like there's no kind of cheap for that.

21:39

You have to make sure that you're building that in

21:41

and saying this is what I'm gonna spend on myself.

21:43

And I think that's the only real way.

21:44

- And sometimes I ask myself that

21:45

they're giving me these for $70

21:47

how much did they pay for them?

21:48

You know like, they probably paid $10 for these

21:52

and I'm paying the mark up but in the same sense,

21:54

you know it is what it is.

21:56

I'm curious to you guys, what's the last impulse buy?

22:00

- Oh, I just bought a couch a few minutes ago.

22:02

- Yeah you literally just bought a couch today.

22:04

- You did just buy a couch but

22:05

is that an impulse buy?

22:06

Don't you need it?

22:07

- [Tonya] She had a couch.

22:08

- Okay nevermind.

22:09

(laughs)

22:10

Never mind, never mind.

22:11

- All right in fairness yes, you're right.

22:12

But okay, so my old couch, I've had

22:15

for a long time since my old apartment you know,

22:18

I bought a house, I took the couch with me.

22:20

So I've probably had this couch

22:21

like seven or eight years.

22:22

- You got the use of that couch.

22:24

- And I've been wanting to get a new couch

22:26

and I keep on putting it off like,

22:27

oh I'm not gonna get it now

22:28

and there was a sale right now,

22:30

so I did get it on sale but it was

22:32

the couch I wanted on sale

22:34

and we were just sitting here waiting for you

22:36

so I just bought it.

22:37

(laughs)

22:39

- [Tonya] So you triggered that spending?

22:40

- I'm sorry.

22:41

- But I think you know it was something

22:43

that I felt like I needed and it's for my house

22:45

and I spend a lot of time in my home

22:47

and I feel like I've you know,

22:50

had eight years with the former couch,

22:51

it's time to move on.

22:52

- Absolutely.

22:53

- I bought a dress that I don't need right now.

22:55

- You said you weren't shopping anymore?

22:56

- I know, that's why I'm telling you

22:58

it's an impulse buy.

22:59

It was bad.

23:00

I'm technically on a clothes shopping fast

23:02

and I saw this dress and I was like,

23:03

you know what, I have the perfect party

23:05

to wear that to in many months.

23:08

- [Tonya] We're not judging you.

23:09

- And so I you know, I'm not judging myself

23:11

but also I had set a goal that I was not

23:13

going to spend money on clothes

23:14

and the way that I rationalize it to myself,

23:16

I was like this is how I know I have a problem.

23:19

I made all, you know, it was circuitous

23:20

and it was so fast, I was like,

23:21

here's my credit card number

23:23

and I just bought it immediately.

23:24

So you know, look out for those Instagrams in October.

23:28

- Can't wait.

23:29

(laughs)

23:30

What about you Tonya?

23:31

- The last impulse.

23:31

- Don't leave us out here hanging.

23:32

- Yeah, I'm gonna come clean.

23:34

The last impulse buy

23:38

I mean I feel like I make them regularly

23:41

but the one that stands out was,

23:42

I'm really into Fanny packs right now.

23:44

- I love the Fanny pack.

23:46

- Yeah cause as a mom like I just need

23:47

everything right here on the hip.

23:49

- I love it.

23:50

And you have the baby

23:51

and that's a good rationalization.

23:52

- Yeah.

23:53

- So you don't have to carry.

23:54

- Oh it's part of my mom wardrobe now,

23:55

it's like my lifestyle.

23:56

So you know, I had a Fanny pack from

23:59

a discount retailer that I was going hard with

24:02

and I was like, you know what Tonya

24:03

you use this every single day, you can get

24:05

yourself a nicer Fanny pack.

24:06

So I bought a designer Fanny pack

24:08

when I was at a store, it was on clearance.

24:11

- Okay.

24:12

- That was kind of impulsive cause it's on clearance.

24:14

That was, yeah.

24:15

- What about you Dasarte, don't just act like is us.

24:17

- So I've been traveling a lot lately

24:19

and I love food.

24:20

So we were in Manhattan earlier yesterday

24:23

and it was like there's one meal that was like

24:26

they don't tell you the price because

24:27

it has all the shrimp and everything

24:30

you know what I mean, we came to get this

24:32

but we ended up getting that meal right

24:34

and those are my impulse spends.

24:36

- I have a question for you Dasarte,

24:37

cause I know that you typically work with

24:39

you know, high net worth individuals and so forth.

24:42

Do you feel that debt is something

24:44

that is a problem across all income brackets

24:47

or do you find that you know, it affects one

24:50

income bracket more than the others?

24:52

- No, I don't think that keeping up

24:53

with the Joneses is reserved for just

24:55

the people that don't have it.

24:57

I think that it's a problem that everybody has right?

25:00

The more money that you have, the more things

25:02

you have access to right.

25:03

And when you talk about like mental fitness,

25:06

we are compensating for things that

25:07

we might not have got when you get the money right.

25:10

So then you're dealing with those things

25:11

like I never got this when I was a child,

25:13

so I wanna get all of this now right.

25:15

- My thing is hotel rooms,

25:16

I realized that that is my thing.

25:19

So growing up my parents would,

25:20

my parents are extremely frugal

25:22

in certain regards, like certain things

25:24

cause they don't yeah, so but growing up

25:27

we would stay in like these little mom and pop ends

25:30

and so forth when we would go on family vacations

25:33

and so my thing is like staying in nice accommodations.

25:36

- Right I have to also.

25:38

- Yeah that's like my one thing

25:40

and I'm just realizing part of it comes from

25:42

as a child we did not stay in accommodations like that.

25:45

- But you're good because you know

25:47

your triggers right?

25:48

A lot of people don't know why they do what they do

25:50

and especially as it pertains to money.

25:52

So I think it's important for you

25:53

to identify those so you can always

25:55

stay ahead of those or build up in your plan.

25:57

- It's hard sometimes when you're

25:58

hanging out with certain people,

25:59

like I'm going on a vacation.

26:01

(laughs)

26:02

- Tell him where you're doing it.

26:03

(laughs)

26:04

- And so.

26:05

- Just tell him where, not with who.

26:06

But you can tell him where.

26:06

- I'm going to Saint Tropez.

26:07

- There you go.

26:08

- And for the first time ever

26:09

so that's already a costly trip

26:12

but when you land right in Nice,

26:14

you can either take a car or I think

26:17

a train or something or a helicopter.

26:20

My friends wanna take the helicopter

26:22

from Nice to Saint Tropez.

26:24

- It's an experience.

26:24

- But it's so expensive.

26:27

It's like $700 round trip or something

26:30

for a 25 minute helicopter ride.

26:33

And I'm like, uhm that's a lot of money.

26:36

- That's a, you know, that was interesting

26:37

because one of my, one of my good friends

26:41

who is recently passed, that's one

26:43

of the things we were talking about

26:45

when it came to his finances was like

26:47

he is rich by association

26:50

and so in his own income he doesn't,

26:53

he wasn't doing bad but he wasn't doing

26:55

as well as the people he was around.

26:56

But he was expected to play at their level

26:58

and that was causing a lot of financial

27:00

issues for him because like I can't afford

27:02

to do these things that come easy to them,

27:04

but I play in their league

27:05

and so I kind of, if I want to remain in their league

27:08

and remain around them, I have to come to the table.

27:10

- But you also know if somebody is your

27:12

friend by how you talk to them about money right?

27:14

Like something like you know,

27:15

I think we all remember times where

27:17

we couldn't buy the things that we wanted

27:18

and now you know that you have access.

27:20

But I think that if you are not able

27:22

to have real conversations with even

27:24

your friends about that stuff

27:25

and say, I'm saving for something else,

27:26

I can't afford it or I don't make

27:28

as much money as you, it tells you more

27:30

about that relationship.

27:31

But I also think that you know,

27:33

like you were talking about triggers,

27:34

I think that it's good to also,

27:36

you need to have a criteria for yourself

27:38

or what you're not willing to scrimp on.

27:40

And for me travel is that you know,

27:42

it doesn't need to be a five star hotel

27:44

all the time but I know that I need

27:45

to feel safe, I need to feel happy

27:47

and I find other ways to compensate for it.

27:49

I was like that's why all my credit cards

27:50

are credit cards that will give you

27:51

points towards travel.

27:52

That's why you know, I will save other ways

27:55

to make sure that that happens.

27:56

But I think it's good to know ahead

27:57

of time instead of in a panic mode.

28:00

We're gonna be doing something

28:01

new in season five.

28:02

- [Tonya] Okay.

28:03

- We know that thinking about

28:04

all of these topics like finance,

28:06

it can be so stressful for a lot of people,

28:08

including me, especially me probably,

28:11

but it doesn't have to be.

28:13

So we're going to have a money meditation

28:15

on every episode

28:16

and for today's money meditation,

28:18

we want to take a moment to envision being debt free.

28:22

Just think about it.

28:23

- Okay.

28:24

- Picture a not so distant future

28:25

where the collection notices, the phone calls,

28:27

the nagging reminders, they're no longer

28:29

part of your life, your budgeting, saving

28:32

and discipline has really paid off.

28:36

I'm thinking about that for myself,

28:37

but for the rest of you, what's your

28:39

dream way to celebrate becoming debt free

28:43

for the debt that you need to be free of?

28:45

Because as we said, not all debt is bad debt.

28:48

- Right is a mortgage bad debt?

28:49

No.

28:50

- That's great debt.

28:51

- I have a couple.

28:52

(laughs)

28:56

- I feel like my debt free celebration

28:58

will be a trip.

29:01

I feel like most of my celebrations are a trip.

29:03

I think that's how I reward myself

29:04

is by going on some type of trip,

29:07

going somewhere I've always wanted to go

29:08

and experience cause I'm more of an

29:10

experiences over things person.

29:12

And when I created debt from my Fab finance,

29:14

I had to forsake a lot of experiences

29:16

because I had to pay off things.

29:18

So it's just a reminder of myself,

29:20

like what really matters to you

29:21

and its experiences.

29:23

- [Aminatou] I love that.

29:24

- For me I would say I really, really

29:26

wanna buy a vacation home.

29:27

So when I get to the, what?

29:29

- I want Angela's, you know I trade mine in

29:33

for a vacation home.

29:33

(laughs)

29:34

- I really do but I want it to make me money also

29:36

and so I've been talking to a couple

29:38

of my friends about trying to partner up

29:40

and find something so that we have a place

29:41

we can go to whenever we want,

29:43

but also we can rent it out to make some money

29:46

and put it on one of those sites

29:48

so that people can go and stay there

29:50

and we cash in and at the same time.

29:52

- I'm actually willing put it on that actually.

29:54

- Okay well let's talk about it.

29:55

- It's in the line.

29:56

(laughs)

29:57

It's in the line.

29:59

- I love that we're talking about shedding debt,

30:00

you guys are just bringing on more debt.

30:02

(laughs)

30:03

- Dasarte said.

30:04

- But the good kind, but good kind.

30:06

- Right.

30:08

- You know, I didn't have any debt

30:10

except for medical debt because I got cancer

30:13

and I had to put a lot of expenses on the credit card

30:16

and I was really lucky that I could afford to do it.

30:18

But I remember the day that I finally

30:19

paid everything off I was like,

30:21

the MRI is gone, everything is gone

30:23

and I'm healthy now and I decided to start

30:27

a savings account for experiences that I wanna have.

30:31

I was like this money that I used to pay into this,

30:33

it's still money that I can move around

30:35

for other things.

30:36

And so once a year I wanna go on a trip,

30:39

a solo trip that is a trip I've been dreaming of.

30:42

And so for me that's just been really,

30:44

really helpful.

30:45

- Yey.

30:46

- Awesome.

30:47

I don't have any debt but I think

30:49

the celebration for me is gonna be buying

30:51

a duplex or triplex in the Bay area sometime next year.

30:55

So that's what we were planning for.

30:56

But I also think that's, it's important

30:58

to pay it forward so I'm gonna open accounts

31:00

for my nieces and nephews so they can have

31:03

the opportunity to do something like that

31:04

when they mature right, so I think

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that's gonna be another form of my celebration.

31:10

- But that's great.

31:11

Well of course we wanna hear what you came up with.

31:13

So let us know your response to this week's

31:16

brand new money meditation by posting on social media.

31:19

You know what that hashtag is,

31:20

it's live color full.

31:22

That's a live color full with two L's

31:24

at the end of full, so live color full.

31:27

All right, that double L at the end.

31:29

- And guys that's it for the week.

31:31

So make sure you check back next week,

31:32

we'll be getting into the things

31:33

you should know before getting married.

31:36

Yeah.

31:37

- Talk about it.

31:38

(laughs)

31:39

It's a change

31:40

and special thanks to our guest, Dasarte Yarnway

31:43

for joining us.

31:44

- Thank you for having me.

31:45

- Thank you Dasarte.

31:46

Now please let our listeners know

31:47

where they can find you.

31:48

- They can find us at www.berknell.com

31:51

and they can follow me on all social media

31:52

at Dasarte Yarnway.

31:54

- Spell Berknell.

31:55

- B -E- R-K-N-E-L-L and my name D-A-S-A-R-T-E

31:59

Yarnway as it sounds.

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- Thank you guys for joining us.

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(soft instrumental music)

- Welcome to an all new episode of "Color Full Lives" presented by State Farm. This season, you know, we've been focusing on the things that we wish that we knew before major life events. In this week's episode we're going to dig into what you should know before getting married. We've covered some of this in our past episodes, but what are some of the best practices for saving for a wedding? Tonya? Tonya, please tell us.

- You know, I think that one of the most important things is to think about is just being aware of the cost associated with a wedding ceremony. I don't think enough people do that, especially now in this social media generation, and deciding what's really important to you. Like, you know?

- [Aminatou] So how do you decide that?

- It's about family and friends. Well, I think it requires a conversation between you and your significant other. I think you should make a list of like, what's important to me, what's kind of important to me, and what doesn't matter at all. Then you compare your list with your partner and then you say, "Oh, is this on your list? "This is on your list." And then I think you make your decision based on that.

- [Angela] What was important to you?

- For me, it was the music. Like, for me, it was--

- Okay.

- Okay.

- That's what I'm talking about.

- [Tonya] Yeah, for me it was the, like--

- I'm like, let's go back in time and go to your wedding.

- We need to wobble.

- [Tonya] Yeah! Yeah, we had to wobble! Like, I'm a line dancer. But no, for me, and when people like my friends who were at the wedding, so our hashtag was flash wedding bash. If you want to check it out on social media, you can. But my friends who were at the wedding, you know, they were like, "Wow, that was a real fun reception." I was like, "Mission accomplished."

- [Angela] That's how you went.

- You know, like, my flowers, none of that. You know, they were beautiful, but we did a destination wedding, and I think that was important for us too to just have a lighthearted experience because there's so much pressure around getting married. Like, I'm sure you guys, you know, people in their lives are like--

- I have to think about it now because, you know, one day if I do get married and we have those conversations, listen, a destination wedding is a great idea because then everyone can't go. And so--

- You're like, you just whittled down the wedding list.

- [Angela] You have to also think about the list, but then there's people that you want to be there, but maybe they don't have the finances, so now do I have to pay? Especially family members?

- Yeah, I didn't care. We did a destination wedding.

- Damn! Listen! It doesn't stop us from getting married.

- We'll send pictures.

- Like, at the end of the day, and that's like you had to think about the wedding is about you and significant other. That's how I looked at it as just like, as long as I'm there and he's there, anybody else, if they can get there, great!

- [Angela] Please let him be there. Where's my fiance? No, but you know, I get it. I know people. And so I do know people who sidelined their dream of having a destination wedding because of someone in their family, and then unfortunately something happens to that person or like, that person passes. And now you've invested all this money in a state-side wedding for someone who's no longer gonna be at your wedding, and now you're paying these state-side prices rather than having the destination wedding you really wanted. So it boils down to who is this about? And 'cause like--

- But like, what about if his family can't afford it? Like immediate family. Like now I gotta get his sister, his mom, his dad. And then--

- I don't know, Ann. I was cutthroat, like--

- You said, "Too bad!"

- Angela who are all these people that you're paying for?

- I was cutthroat.

- Because sometimes, I always take into consideration, like, people that are important to me, and financially is it too much for me to have a destination wedding? You know? Because it is a flight, it is a room--

- [Tonya] It's just, it's an investment.

- And then, do you expect to get a present?

- No!

- I think as a wedding guest, a frequent wedding guest, I think that if you go to a destination wedding, your presence is a present. Like, you can't ask--

- [Tonya] Yeah. I didn't expect anyone to buy us a present.

- Right. I think that if they're very close friends, of course you'll give them a gift, you know, in the way that you want to do it, but I think that if you're asking people to pay for a flight to pay for accommodation and all that stuff, that's the present that they're giving you.

- Now, if you wanna give a present. Because I mean people--

- You'll accept it!

- Our guest registry, we still use gifts from our registry, and I'm like, "Man, "I'm so happy I put this on the registry." Like, I made waffles with our waffle maker. And I was like, "This is such a good waffle maker. "I'm so glad we got this as a wedding gift."

- Do you prefer money or gifts?

- Because they always say you're supposed to pay at least for what your plate costs at a wedding.

- Yes.

- [Tonya] You know, it depends.

- That's how it is in my culture.

- [Angela] Yeah, it is. I think it depends. Like, there's certain gifts. We all have those gifts that, you know, we wouldn't have bought it if someone gave us the money for it, but because someone bought it, you use it. So I think that in that instance. But I'm just grateful for whatever we get. And so it's like, if you want to give money, cool. If you want to buy something off a registry, cool. If you want to buy something that wasn't on our registry, you thought about us and you decided to part with money that you worked hard on, you know?

- [Aminatou] Yeah. But you know a thing that I think is can be frustrating about this conversation is that like, a wedding is very different from a marriage. You know?

- Yeah!

- Like, you don't have to have a wedding to have a marriage. And a wedding is a party.

- Exactly!

- And I think that in our culture we use weddings as a gift grab, you know? People are just like, "We want them." So I'm like, I--

- I'm 'bout to come up!

- You know, my feeling is--

- Well, now a photo-op! And now it's a big photo-op!

- Yeah, my feeling is if there's two of you and you're 30 and you live together, and you don't already own a waffle iron, I'm like, I have many concerns here.

- Don't judge us! Amina's judging us!

- But I have a waffle maker, I just want to say.

- Listen, I'm not judging you. I just think that showing up for your friends who are married--

- It wasn't a deluxe waffle maker, what we--

- [Aminatou] How expensive was it? But you know what I mean?

- I think that a lot of tension that occurs in friendships sometimes is that. It's like you're friends with people, and then next thing you know, it's like, "Can you be my bridesmaid?" And then you're paying $17,000.

- [Tonya] That's a whole other situation.

- You know what I mean?

- Right.

- [Tonya] Like the bridesmaid. But you know, I do think with a wedding, so I used to be an assistant wedding planner in college.

- How many lives have you lived?

- Okay, it all makes sense! So yeah! When I went to school in South Florida, one of my relatives had a wedding planning business, so to make extra money I would assist her day of; and I remember we had like, a $82,000 wedding that I was assisting, and the food was amazing. It was extravagant. And within one year they were divorced.

- Oh, I went to a wedding that was $400,000.

- [Tonya] Oh my gosh. Are they still together?

- Are they divorced?

- They are longer together.

- [Tonya] See?

- See, you should ask for your gift back.

- And you know what?

- And you know what they spent a lot of money on in that wedding? Fireworks.

- But this is what I'm saying. Like, a wedding is a party, right?

- [Tonya] It's a big party.

- It's a flex of, logistically, what are you two people capable of? It doesn't say a lot about everything else.

- But here's the thing. It's like there's a missed opportunity to flex differently. Because like, a wedding is not an investment. Let's get that clear.

- [Aminatou] Okay.

- It's not! But you can use that money to actually invest in something, such as buy a property. And I know for me, we were living in New York. We didn't own. And so I was like, I refuse to spend an X, Y, Z amount of money on a wedding and we don't own property. Like, we don't own things of this value.

- Right, it doesn't make sense.

- And so $400,000? I hope to God your assets are more than $400,000. 'Cause if not, you should have invested that.

- Plus, you could tell already somebody didn't invest wisely if they spent $400,000 on a wedding.

- Clearly!

- Now, a couple of other things I wanted to ask about when it comes to planning a wedding, because some people obviously like, have huge families, and some people don't. Now, I also went to a wedding recently where the bride's family was all in the room with them and during the reception, and they had us in like, a separate room. His family, the groom.

- Of how big their family party was?

- But it was like a division. So we couldn't even see her, but I think she planned everything.

- Like a broadcast kind of? Like put a watch-not at the overflow room?

- You could have watched that at home.

- Yeah, we were like in the overflow room.

- You could have watched that from home.

- And my family was so mad.

- That's a poppin' couple! Like, you got a overflow room at your wedding.

- Yeah, so how do you avoid offending people at a wedding when clearly like, the room they had, some people had to be in the overflow room? How would you have handled that situation?

- I feel like people just need to check their emotions. And like, and I don't know, I'm just big on people feel so entitled. And it's like, first of all, if it's not a destination wedding, you didn't pay to come to my wedding. So if you go into a overflow room, like, you're about to eat for free, you're about to dance for free. You're probably gonna drink for free. Like, you know, so it's like, get what you can. I don't know. I always am checking my entitlement to other people's experiences and like, I'm just happy that they thought that I should play a part in this day.

- Right, I think it's just about communicating well, right? And I think that that's usually a lot of the problems, you know, when you feel feelings about other people's weddings, it's just because you didn't know. You didn't have enough information. So if it's communicated to you like, "Hi, we have a lot of family."

- [Tonya] That's true.

- "Our family is our priority. "We love you. "We want you to be there, "but you're gonna be in that church overflow room."

- My family's my priority.

- No, it was all family.

- Then I would feel--

- But it was his family was in that room.

- See, that's kind of shady though. It's like--

- That's what I'm saying.

- My family's here and your family is.

- It was her family was all in the room and then my family was all in like, a different room. And we were like--

- See, then I feel like you just shouldn't.

- I can't see what's going on, can't hear anything!

- That's when I feel like you should just wait or something like that because that's different. I feel like if you can't do it in a way that is tasteful, then you might need to wait or look at other options.

- But people don't feel empowered to do that. There's so much pressure to be like, we're engaged. We have to get married. And sometimes--

- [Tonya] Pressure from who?

- Like, I agree with you. It's like, the pressure is usually internal, right?

- Yeah, can you pressure us to stay married? How about that? How 'bout that pressure?

- What do you think is a good price to spend on a wedding? If you had to guesstimate?

- I don't know, Ang. I think that's relative. I think that is relative.

- And it depends where you live also.

- Like, what's the average price that a person spends?

- Isn't it like $30,000?

- I think the average wedding is like $35,000. Which is not what I paid, I mean, in full transparency. All-in, transportation, everything included, our wedding was $13,000.

- [Aminatou] Wow!

- [Angela] Okay, wedding planner!

- We paid for it cash. And for me, it was really important to have our wedding in Jamaica so we could support the local economy. So even like our florist, everybody, my makeup artists, everyone came from the island. It wasn't from the actual resort. We were very intentional about that.

- Can you imagine going into debt for a wedding?

- No!

- No.

- That sounds like you're starting backwards.

- But people do and then like, the couple 400,000, I don't know their situation, but can you imagine paying bills on a wedding after you've gotten a divorce? Like, what kind of incentive do you have? Like, I can't stand this person and now I'm still paying on this day. You know? I would question everything. I'd question all my financial decisions up until that point.

- Now, they always also say that once vendors know that it's a wedding--

- [Tonya] Yeah.

- Then they always charge you more.

- [Tonya] I've heard that but I couldn't lie about it.

- That's true. I helped plan a friend's wedding because I was the one officiating. And so she delegated a couple tasks. It was like one friend. Like for me, it was like, can you find me a cake? And also I have to deal a little bit with the venue. And we never said there was a wedding. We're like, "Our friends are having a party." Which was true. Our friends were having a party. They got married in the park and they did my favorite thing, because they both don't like wedding receptions, and so because a lot of people were coming from out of town for the wedding, they just gave everybody a list of who was there and they're like, "Here are restaurants. "You guys should just do your thing "and then we'll come back to dance together." So it's like, ceremony, come back to dance.

- Wow.

- Wow.

- But it was so them and it was great.

- Yeah.

- But I remember the woman from the gallery that they got married at was so mad when she saw like, a wedding dress and a wedding cake.

- I mean, I would be upset too.

- And I was like, what's the difference? But I'm like, what's the difference?

- I get it.

- What's the difference?

- Why should it cost more to rent the space?

- I get it.

- What is the difference?

- I understand both sides.

- I was like, they did the thing that they're supposed to do, and why do you feel entitled to charge like, a third more because it's a wedding?

- I was such an honest person. They'd be like, "What is it for?" And I was like--

- My wedding! You were like, flashback hashtag.

- A party? A party? What kind of party, what are you celebrating?

- A union.

- I'm getting married. It was like I could not lie about it.

- I would think on certain things you could--

- I feel like I'd show up and they'd be like, "Oh, really?"

- Like with the florist, I would think that you could just say, "We're having an event and we need no?"

- Then I was sending references.

- But same thing with the cake!

- So then I was sending references. But how can you, like a wedding cake is a wedding cake.

- Yeah, you can't, right.

- I mean, they got a non-traditional wedding cake. So you the cake.

- You see, if you have to have a non-traditional situation.

- We'll just have a cheesecake from Junior's.

- We got this like, beautiful French cake. But you know what I mean? I also think that like, I always get excited about a wedding when I go when you're like, the wedding is a true reflection of who the couple is.

- Right, it should be.

- So you shouldn't just do things because this is the way that everybody does them, right?

- Exactly.

- Because it's just about, like, what kind of hosts are you?

- Yeah.

- So if you are the kinds of hosts that like, you know, your wedding would not have a cake, it'll have like a tower of cheese, for example, I was like, "That's you and I appreciate that "because this is who you are."

- Yeah.

- And I think there's just people, you know, people just do things that they feel expected to do instead of just saying, "This is how we want to "host our community on the day of our wedding."

- And I think that, you know, regardless of if we're talking about, you know, weddings or dating or talking about money with your partner, it doesn't get any easier to talk about difficult financial topics by avoiding them. Like, avoiding doesn't fix anything but practice makes perfect. And so, you know, a lot of people want to know when is the right time to talk to your partner about credit, et cetera, and things like that. And it depends on the nature of your relationship. It depends on the person. It depends on where you are in your life. But one of the biggest tips that we can give to couples that share financial responsibilities or liabilities is to schedule those regular financial dates. Like, check in when it comes to your money, have conversations, where are we going, what is our vision as a couple, and being open and honest about your financial situations and goals. It can feel intimidating but it shouldn't, especially if you're gonna spend your life with this person.

- Right, I think before you move in together, you definitely have to have those talks about credit and finances, because once you start sharing those things, I need to know like, can we both get this apartment together with our names on it or is your credit messed up? I need to know those things.

- Yeah, it is! What is your plan to fix this?

- And then I like to look at people's spending habits. Like, are they extravagant? Do they make sure all this stuff? I need to know what those habits are because I'm very anal when it comes to money, and my credit is really good and it took a long time for me to make that happen. And I don't need no man, okay?

- Sinking your ship!

- Dragging my credit down.

- You do not need him sinking your ship. You can do it by yourself! Like, I can do bad all--

- Because it's also a compatibility thing, right? You know, because I think sometimes when we have this conversation a lot of people feel shame because they're like, oh, like, one partner doesn't have it together and the other partner has it together. And I'm like, it doesn't have to be. That's not the actual disconnect. The disconnect is if you're not moving in the same direction.

- Right.

- [Tonya] Exactly!

- And I will help you get your credit together!

- You can fix so many problems. Like, we've been so open about fixing our credit, and you know, getting better about, like, you taught me about checking my bank account every day, a thing that used to--

- [Tonya] Check your balance!

- I check my bank account every day.

- I couldn't do it!

- I check my credit cards, everything, all the time.

- But you can help each other grow, right? And also, when you're partnered with someone, that's the bargain that you're making where you're like--

- [Tonya] And that's the purpose.

- "Okay, we're gonna gonna support each other." But if you are not compatible in the things that you want and you don't have that forward momentum together, your relationship probably is not going to work.

- Right. And you have to check in when it comes to those big purchases. I don't wanna think that you're gonna go out there and like, buy a brand new car and not say anything to me about it.

- Oh, man, me and my husband would get a divorce if I came home and he had a new car. Don't do it, Khomari!

- I definitely know people that done that, you know? I mean, look, people don't even like when you don't consult like, I bought a brand new TV.

- [Tonya] Yeah! Let's just--

- Like, let's talk about it.

- [Tonya] I'm gonna say, "Do it," but like, at least respect me enough to have this conversation with me before you make this big financial decision.

- Right! And also, if they're not telling you, it's like, actually the not telling is, I'd be like, that's very telling.

- Well, that's like not telling him.

- Right! I was like, "What else are you not saying?" And also it's just, you shouldn't have any hangups. I'm like, if you're gonna spend your life with someone, you need to know their money. Like, 'cause now it's all of our money. So let's talk about it!

- All of our money.

- It is, it's all of our money. But you know, it's like, and I love that you used the word liability because I think a lot of people don't think about it that way. It's like, well, yeah, if you're partnered with someone, their debt affects you. It affects your relationship. If you marry them, their debt definitely affects you. And you are, in a lot of states, on the hook for it. And you know, you might as well know and not have a nasty surprise at some times.

- My boyfriend has to be able to talk to money with me the way I talk to you guys about money.

- Yeah!

- My husband, yeah. We talk about money almost too much. I'm like, just because I do money doesn't mean I want to talk about it all the time, and he'll say, "Well, you're the money girl." And I'm just like, "No, no!" I also--

- Just money girl.

- I do other things!

- I just wanna watch trash TV!

- No, all she does is money.

- We're talking a lot about getting married in this week's episode, and we hope sharing our perspectives helps. But this podcast isn't the only resource. There are nearly 19,000 State Farm agents across the United States who are waiting to help protect what's important to you and guides you through major life milestones. For this week's "Ask an Agent" segment, we reached out to Zanetta Harris Glover who has an office in Newark, New Jersey, and we got some practical advice you'll want to consider before tying the knot.

- What's up ladies? This week I'm gonna share how couples can work towards financial success. First, review insurance needs and coverages, update your information, add your partner to your home and auto and insurance policies. Consider updating the beneficiaries on your life insurance policy and retirement accounts. And if you both have health insurance plans provided by your employers, choose whether you will keep one or both and act accordingly. Second, be open. Discuss your finances and set goals. Whether you choose to combine accounts or keep them separate, it is important to sit down regularly and discuss progress towards your larger financial goals, such as buying a home, paying for college, and saving for retirement. Another thing to consider is estate planning. If you haven't already, create a living trust with your spouse to reflect your combined assets. Create power of attorney and medical directive documents. Also have a will or trust in place. Having one could make the settlement of your estate easier and faster. There are many variety of wills and trusts to fit the needs of each individual. Only a qualified attorney should draft these documents. And for more tips on balancing money as a couple, talk to your local State Farm agent or visit us at statefarm.com.

- Now, in the first half of our show we were talking about money dates. Schmoney dates. So it only felt right that we invite one of our favorite couples, Codie and Tommy Oliver from "Black Love," it's now in its third season on OWN, to give us some of their tips for a happy, healthy marriage, and how to make it easier to talk about money with your honey.

- Hey, y'all, it's Codie and Tommy Oliver from "Black Love," and we are here to share our top three tips on how to have a happy, healthy relationship with your boo and your money? No. No?

- With yourself, myself, and our money.

- And our money, okay. So, okay, so you know, one of the first tips that we have is talk about money very early, like as early as possible.

- True.

- You know, talk about your saving habits, your spending habits, your investing desires. I say desires because when we had this conversation we didn't have no money, but the sooner that you at least know what the other person is planning or wants to do, the better informed you can be. Notice, I didn't say getting on the same page 'cause that might not happen! It is what it is.

- And we didn't.

- We did not. We'll get there. So the second thing is to be honest with your partner. Speak openly about your patterns, maybe the patterns of your parents, the things that you have picked up about spending and saving and all that stuff, because transparency will help strengthen the relationship, especially if you don't agree. And then lastly, especially do what works for you as a couple, because everyone has advice and opinions about what you should do with your money, but all that matters is what you and your partner want to do.

- Actually, there is one thing that should happen.

- Okay?

- Work on your credit.

- Yes! There's one thing we can totally agree on. Work on your credit. It matters. It opens all the doors. Yes, that's a good point. We agree on that, because here's what we don't agree on, and we were talking about this just last night, the idea of having an emergency fund. Tommy, it's important to him that we invest in ourselves, that we invest in our businesses, and it's important to me to make sure that we're saving a little bit for a rainy day, and it's--

- Those aren't the same things. An emergency fund does not equal savings.

- Oh, it is saving, it is putting money aside.

- Those aren't the same thing.

- No, they're not the same.

- But you said I don't believe--

- But in this case--

- No, but that's inaccurate. I'm not not a fan of an emergency fund, but the idea of understanding savings versus the opportunity cost of making that money work for us is very different.

- So do you want an emergency fund?

- An emergency fund of a reasonable amount is important.

- Oh, well! So then we're gonna have an emergency fund starting tomorrow! All right, well, we have to keep it really short because we are actually going off to one of our monthly money meetings. And so we'll catch you girls later.

- Tonya, I know that you've said so much about this before.

- Yeah, I think, you know, building out a budget requires you to think about what our long-term financial goals are, what our short term financial goals are. But I think at the cornerstone of a budget, like they said, is, you know, an emergency fund. Like, you always want to make sure that you're prioritizing creating that emergency fund because nothing stresses out a marriage or a relationship more than having financial trouble. Like, you'll see a completely different side of that person. And you start to question everything.

- It might be me that you see a different side of.

- Yeah, like, wait. You didn't plan for our future?

- How do you decide how much you're putting in in the emergency fund? Like what's the calculation behind what that's supposed to be for each, you know, because each couple has different needs?

- Yeah, I mean, that's a great question! And it is essentially looking at your expenses. It is looking at what you're responsible for, and then based on what you're responsible for, you know, most people, we recommend three to six months of your overhead, but it really comes down to the couple. It really comes down to the couple, as we've seen. Like, all couples are different. Everyone has different philosophies. Everyone has different financial responsibilities. People have different support systems in place. You know, some people have come from wealthy families. Some people come from, you know, situations where they're supporting their parents.

- [Angela] Right.

- So it's like it's sometimes not just your household, it's the other households you're supporting outside of your household. So how much you have set aside is gonna look different.

- The idea of combining my finances is so scary to me.

- I know! And honestly, that's one of the things.

- It is stressing me out even just hearing you talk about it.

- That's one of the things I love about "Black Love" and watching that show is you just see so many couples and how they've overcome certain things. Personally knowing Tommy and Codie, they are just, they're awesome. They are like, I remember when we had Karris, when I was pregnant with Karris, I asked Tommy. I was like, how can I make sure that I'm not invalidating Khomari in his role as a father? Because I think as a mother, you always want to step in. So it's like, how can I make sure that he feels like a confident parent as well? And they're just great. As you've seen, they have so much knowledge.

- Yeah, you know, I think, as the single person at the table, this conversation is really fascinating to me because I have a very good sense for myself of what my emergency fund needs to look like. I have a sense of, you know, like, how do I prepare if I lose my own job or if I want to change careers. But how does that change when there's another person in the mix?

- [Tonya] Like, how do you bring someone into that situation?

- You know what I appreciate that my boyfriend does is that I don't really have to give money to my family as much as he does, but even though it's his money, he always tells me.

- Good!

- Like, 'cause I know for a lot of people, a lot of couples, that turns into an issue like, "Wait, you gave such and such money again? "You gave your brother money, you gave your sister money, "you gave your mom." And I know a lot of times that could be an issue, but I think it's a good practice now. Like, he might not tell anybody else in the family but he'll tell me like, "Just so you know, "I just gave, you know, X amount of money."

- That's really good and that's really responsible of him because I think that it's, especially even when you're not necessarily married yet, you know, you're still not dating but you're in a long-term relationship. You just haven't fused your lives together to form. And you know, formerly with marriage, people think that you don't have to communicate certain things, so that's really good and that's really responsible of him to talk about it.

- Can I ask, though, when you communicate that is it like, high level? Or do you say like, there's a dollar amount that, you know, I'm comfortable with you spending this on something or I'm comfortable like, giving this amount? You know, like, is there a threshold that you're like, "If that happens, "we gotta talk about it?"

- I had to do that in my marriage. I don't know if we have talked about this last season, but I found out my husband paid one of his family members' rent and didn't tell me until like, something hit the fan, and I was like, wait, what? So let me get this right. And so that was our compromise was, okay, as long as you are meeting all of your financial goals and we're on track with our goals, you can do what you want with your extra money, but anything over $1,000 we have to talk about it.

- And do you have to tell each other if you get a bonus or something or like a--

- Ooh.

- Unexpected check comes in?

- I don't have to tell anyone if I get a bonus but someone should probably tell me if I get a bonus.

- Yeah, I mean, I do--

- Like, maybe you get an unexpected large amount of money that he doesn't necessarily know about. Is that something that you have to disclose?

- We communicate about it. We do, we communicate about it.

- Are there some things he might not know?

- Communicate is such a nebulous word.

- We communicate about.

- Well, I mean, you know, I guess like, the question is if you're not saying something about money, like, why aren't you saying it? Right?

- Yeah.

- I think like that's the--

- You walked in here with these new clothes on. I don't know.

- Yeah. And I've started being better about that. I'm interested to see what other people do when it comes to this.

- Yeah, so, I mean, that's a good segue though. Like, do you share every kind of account, you know, or do you have like one common pot where you're like, we all contribute and then you have your own separate thing, or is it you have access to every single thing that, you know, everyone is doing in your relationship?

- Personally, for us, we have our own separate accounts and then we have a house account, and then we know what our household expenses are. We deposit an amount into our household account to cover our household expenses and then we have our own account.

- Is it a percentage, like, based on what you make? Like, say for all right, let's talk about this. What if one partner doesn't work? Then should the breadwinner set aside a percentage to give to the significant other that's not working? And how do you do that?

- Well, it's a tough one.

- I think so much of it is doing what works for you. And I know, and like, I can only say so our household is different from my parents' household. Me and my mom actually had a conversation about this recently because I found out my dad pays all the bills and my mom pays for her car note and you know, like, certain things that are related to her personally. And I brought it up to my husband. He was like, "Well."

- My life would be so different.

- "So that's what you want to do?" I was like, "I'm not saying that's what I want to do." But for us, it's different because we're both entrepreneurs. And so one month, one person, or, you know, for a couple of months one of us might have an amazing contract, and then the next couple of months my husband might have an amazing project and he picks up, you know, more of the bills. And so for us, flexibility is the most important thing, and being flexible and understanding, okay, this is what you have going, this is what your financial goal is. I know, like, I've mentioned before I created debt building my business. When I decided I wanted to eliminate my debt, I had to talk to my husband and say, "Hey, I want to become debt free. "So would you mind, you know, "taking care of most of the household responsibilities "so that I can do this, so I can focus on this?" And you know, he was okay with it. And then after that, he was like, "You know, client work has kind of slowed down. "Let's have a conversation about going back "to the arrangement we had before." And I didn't have a problem with that. And so, and then when Karris came, you know, it was I'm on maternity leave, so I'm not able to work as much as you are. And so the trade off of you going out and me being in the house is, you know, I have two jobs now.

- Yeah, you're a working girl raising the baby!

- [Tonya] Because now I'm raising the baby.

- I know.

- And so, you know, we had a conversation about that. And so I think you have to be flexible, you have to know what works for you. You want both parties to feel like you're being fair. You don't want someone to feel like they're being taken advantage of.

- Yeah, and it also depends what kind of commitment you made to someone, right? Like, I'm thinking about partners that I've lived with, and sometimes it was, "Well, we're splitting everything 50-50 "because that's where we're at in our relationship," right? And other times, like one time when I dated someone who was much wealthier than me, it took me a long time to figure out like, "Oh, I don't need to be going halfsies with this person." I mean, no. Like, this is not how that--

- But if they wanted you to.

- Right, right. But I just think that like, you know, the impulse is to talk about it, but also you could have different kind of commitments to people. Like, dating someone is very different from being married to them.

- Right, that's very true.

- It's very different from making, you know, like--

- I think if you're married that money is, say one person stays at home, but they're working, like, they're taking care of everything on that end, I don't think that you should give them an allowance. I feel like--

- [Tonya] Oh, yeah.

- Your money is our money kind of. Right? If they're a responsible person with money, you know, they're not gonna go out and blow it all and go shopping and--

- I think it just depends though. Different people like different things but you should just be able to talk about it and it should just live up to your values. Some people have very old school values. I'm like, I don't respect it and I don't like it. Like, I would never be in a relationship where you're someone who gets an allowance or do whatever, but also--

- I wouldn't to have to ask.

- It just depends!

- Yeah, I couldn't imagine having to ask, like, "Oh, I want to--"

- No! And I think at the end of the day, when you're in a relationship no one should be left completely in the dark financially.

- Yep, yep.

- At the end of the day, it's important to have some level of communication and respect for that other person because, you know, money is important. It's an important component of our relationships and acting like it doesn't exist or not talking about it can create more problems than actually addressing money head-on in a relationship.

- 'Cause sometimes people use finances as a weapon in a relationship too.

- Yep, yep.

- [Tonya] Yep.

- To make somebody feel really bad about them.

- [Tonya] Emotional abuse.

- "Well, I take care "of everything and I hold it down, "and I'm the breadwinner and you need to do this, "and I'm not gonna give you any money to do anything." Because they can do that and that would make another person feel terrible, I would imagine. Exactly. You know, financial abuse is real, and you know, as I've shared before, I think that was, what, season four when I was a guest before I joined you guys?

- [Aminatou] Yeah, yes!

- [Angela] Yes!

- The best guest we ever had!

- That was part of my experience was being in a financially abusive relationship. So I'm very sensitive to that in my own relationship, but I'm also sensitive to that when I'm working with clients, when I'm talking to friends and they're explaining things like, "You have an allowance? "You are a 34-year-old woman," you know? And like, I don't care if you don't work, you know? If you don't feel good about this then you need to, like this is a red light and maybe you don't, and maybe you're not in a financially abusive relationship. Maybe it's something you guys have agreed on, but make it make sure it's something you've agreed on.

- You're comfortable.

- And you feel good about.

- Yeah, you know, and something that you've been really good about articulating too, Tonya, is just talking about how the way that you spend your money actually says about the trust in your relationship, you know? So even hearing you talk about a joint, you know, like a house account, I was like, that is an act of trust in someone, you know, of saying like, okay, like we're both doing this. We're in the same place.

- Well, actually, so my husband, my house account--

- Yeah, tell me, tell me.

- He doesn't know his debit card number. So he like, doesn't ever use the house account. It's really, it's mean, but--

- Yeah.

- For paying the bills?

- Yeah, but we both get notifications.

- Yeah.

- And it's funny because a few weeks ago he said, "I'm getting a lot of notifications from the house account." "Are you spending money on the house account? "Yeah, things are due, yes." But because there was a point where he knew his debit card number and he wasn't checking the account like he should before he was spending money or he wasn't checking what was due.

- [Aminatou] Because he trusts you!

- Yeah, and I'd be like, "Wait, we still have "to pay the phone bill. "We still have to pay this."

- Right.

- You know what, just don't spend out the house account. Okay? Just don't.

- I'm in charge.

- Just don't spend or, you know, ask me before you spend. But now he doesn't know his debit card number so.

- Is it hard to buy a surprise or a gift because you guys are so tied in.

- Oh, no, because we both have individual accounts still.

- [Angela] Right.

- So we have a joint house account, we have a joint house savings account, and then we have our individual savings accounts and our individual checking accounts. And then I have my business saving, my business checking. So I do things for him out of my personal. To me, it's not a gift if you buy me something out of my house.

- Out the house account? No, that's not a gift, sir, because I contributed to that gift.

- Oh my God.

- But I think that, you know, well, getting married can provide some tax benefits when filing together, but you should always consult a tax professional who has details on your specific situation. I think there's a lot of murkiness. People don't understand taxes and how, you know, filing jointly, filing separately, filing joint or single, and filing married, filing jointly, married, filing separately, there's all these different ways of filing, yeah.

- [Aminatou] Depending on where you live, basically.

- It's complicated.

- And I know in our instance, I did not want to file jointly with my husband because I didn't want his income factored into my student loan payments.

- Ah, okay.

- But when we were considering buying a home his business wasn't as successful as my business, so he needed my business income on our tax return for us to apply for our mortgage, and so we did have to file jointly.

- I didn't know you had a choice.

- Yeah, you do have a choice. And so that's why it's important to talk to a tax professional because they'll look and say, "Okay, based on this, "this is what makes the most sense for you."

- [Aminatou] Yeah.

- Because filing separately, the trade-off didn't make sense for me to save money on my student loan payments versus the benefit it would have, you know, in getting approved for a mortgage, and you know, our percentage and so forth. So you have to talk to someone who's a professional in that. And even as a financial professional, I still have people who advise me on tax strategy and in tax planning because--

- You don't want that letter in the mail.

- No! And you don't know it! Like, they're experts for a reason. Just like, you know, with your insurance professional, with your tax professional, your therapist, you know? People are experts for a reason because they have access to a certain toolkit that you as an everyday individual probably don't have access to.

- Okay, we're all gonna center ourselves.

- Woo!

- We're gonna take some deep breaths.

- That money got me all riled up.

- These feel good. These money meditations feel good.

- I love it. So we're gonna do a money meditation, you got it. We're gonna breathe in accountability and we're gonna breathe out money every time.

- Ho!

- It's what we're doing.

- Can I breathe in money?

- Listen, you can breathe in, breathe out the money all you want. Okay, let's all center ourselves. Let's breathe, deep breath in. And then we're gonna breathe money out.

- I'm breathing money in and out.

- In and out, in and out. Listen, we want a healthy financial breaths here.

- Inhale money, exhale money. I need that on a shirt.

- We'll make it happen for you. But for today's money meditation, let's all take a moment to identify a way we can work together with a partner, whether it is your business partner or it is your romantic partner, to improve. Take inventory of what stresses and burdens you around money management and finances, and imagine that weight being lifted off of your shoulders by a partner who knows and understands. Now picture something you can do that will make your partner's life easier around money management. And now you can think to yourself, "What is stopping you from starting today on those goals?"

- I mean, I can go first.

- Yeah.

- I have a lot of business partners that I think very fondly of them because you know, I'm business-married to them for real. And recently I've been thinking a lot about how hard it is to make decisions. Like it's hard for me to make a decision for myself, and the minute it involves somebody else, I just get stressed about it. And I think I just really wanna commit to being more transparent about that, and also to just working on if we are communicating well, then there's no problem at all, right? And so I don't want to be internalizing all of the stress that I have about making financial decisions around my business.

- For myself, I think there's a burden that comes with me having businesses that I started that I've invested into. Also properties that I have. And I always am nervous, like I have to make sure I have a certain amount of money. I'm always going really hard to make sure there's always money coming in, but it is something that always it stresses me out to know that I have mortgages and things like that. Even though these are great investments, I'm always like, "Okay, "I have to make sure I keep the money coming in "and keep the money coming in," and sometimes I just can't relax. And I know for my boyfriend his thinking about money is just so different. He's a lot more lax and chill about it than I am. And then I'm a lot more like, "Okay, I gotta get this. "I gotta get this money." And he doesn't mind doing things where he knows he's extending a credit line or, you know, doing certain things that I just am not comfortable with. And so I guess debt has always been, and I know there's good debt, but it always has made me nervous. And I have to get more comfortable with knowing that, you know, at certain points, these investments that might have some debt are still great investments.

- [Tonya] Yeah.

- Yeah.

- I think mine has to do a lot with comfort as well. I've shared that I've been divorced. So this is my second marriage. I feel old saying that. But this is my second marriage, and so because my first marriage ended in a divorce, I always feel kind of like this fear of what would happen if this didn't work out.

- Right.

- And so in that instance, I find that I make a lot of financial decisions based on what's best for Tonya and if Tonya was not married anymore. And I think that sometimes that signals to my husband, like, so are you planning to leave at some point, do you think we're not going to work out, and kind of makes him feel uncomfortable that I don't see us, you know, going the long haul. So I do have to be better about involving him in my financial decisions that don't directly affect him.

- All right, well, of course, you know we want to hear what you came up with for this week's money meditation. Just use that hashtag, #LiveColorFull, with two L's at the end of Color Full. So that's the words live, color, and full, F-U-L-L. That's that double L at the end.

- And that's all for this week, y'all. Don't forget to check back next week when we'll be digging into the things we wish we knew before doing home renovation. You're not gonna want to miss that one at all.

- Yes.

- Welcome to an all-new episode of Color Full Lives presented by State Farm. This season we're focusing on the things that we wish we knew before major life events. In this week's episode we're going to dig into the things that you should know before renovating your home.

- So what does home mean to you guys? I'm curious.

- You know, I travel a lot, so I used to always joke that home is where the wifi connects automatically. But now that I'm trying to be home more, I think, it really just for me home is about peace of mind. You know? I was like, I've worked really hard to live where I want to live. I obviously like I rent, I don't own. But I really like my apartment.

- [Tonya] Yeah.

- And I'm very proud of what living in my apartment means to me, you know? I'm like, I just, I love it. And so I want it to be a place, especially living in New York, my dream of home is that any time I open my door that's the only place I want to be right now.

- [Tonya] Oh, wow. I like that.

- Yeah. It's like my safe space and the thing about my house is and I've owned my house now for, it'll be six years next year, so in April. So, it was a great investment cause home to me is also, I hope this is appreciating in value because I think about those things all the time.

- [Tonya] Hope this is making me money.

- Yeah, I do. And it's also like, when I come home I can't stand for my house to be a mess, especially because I have long days and I also travel a lot. So it really bothers me, like I can't even get in my bed if there's like messes everywhere. So I always have to at least straighten up a little bit before I can even relax.

- Really? So you don't just like, I'm get to it the next day. I'm not gonna get to this.

- [Aminatou] No, never.

- [Tonya] No?

- Especially when you go on a trip. I always make sure that my house is tip top shape before I leave.

- Yeah.

- And I only clean up before I leave because I know I'm not going to want to when I get home.

- Yeah.

- So.

- It's also a place for me where there's never any food in the fridge but lots of leftover takeout cartons. But, in my head, what my home, what I would like it to be is a place where I actually like go home and cook and relax. I'm just not there enough and I would love to be there more.

- Yeah. And I know, home for me is interesting because I think I shared before, I'm a military brat. And so when you're a military kid you're so used to picking up and moving around and I replicated that for so much of my adult life. I think at one point I lived in five different cities in a three-year time span.

- Sheesh.

- Yeah.

- That would drive me crazy.

- That, that's me. I'm on that.

- Yeah, so I was moving around a lot, but now, I don't know. I think because I'm in that weird transition phase of like what

- Growing up in the South, you know, you buy your house, you know? So, I'm the one in my family and everybody's looking at me like, why are you wasting money by renting? But I just haven't found a good deal yet that I'm ready to, that I love. And I know Angie always say like, this doesn't have to be your forever home. This is your starter.

- She just said that to me right before we started.

- I did, I definitely did.

- But, that's interesting. I like home is where the wifi connects automatically but that's a lot places for me. That's my coworking space. That's definitely not home.

- It's my job.

- But you know, I think also like, as you, you know it's probably like a, you, for us at least it's like, we're getting older, we're getting more settled in all these other areas of life. And so having a place that's just consistent.

- Yeah.

- That you can go to all the time, where you can have peace of mind, you know? Cause I think also a lot about the fact that I'm just throwing money away in rent, but I think that that doesn't mean that I'm not proud of the ownership of my rental space, right?

- Yeah.

- [Aminatou] I was like, it's about that kind of pride. And I think that it also represents a kind of taking care of yourself, you know? And I'm like, okay. I was like, work is going well. I figured that out over the years, like all, everything else is going well. I should invest deeply in how I, you know like how the comfort that I have at home.

- Well, I'm excited to look for houses with you.

- Listen-

- And I definitely sent her listings.

- Y'all gotta FaceTime me. FaceTime me in.

- Angela sent me a link and she was like, you know-

- My friend is selling a place. And I do think a lot of times the way that we'll get something is by relationships.

- [Tonya] Yeah. Definitely. Getting things that aren't even-

- [Angela] On the market

- that everyone else isn't working for.

- So it's a matter of talking to people, letting people know I'm looking for a home and putting the word out there. I think that's important. And I always say this too, looking even if you're not ready to buy yet because it is going to take a while to find someplace that you think is great and maybe something will come up that you'll make it happen because it's so amazing that why would I wait on this? I have to figure it out. Sometimes the way we move best is when our back is against the wall and we have to figure it out.

- Yeah.

- I'm really gonna take that to heart, what you're saying about looking even if you're not ready because I think that in my, in my head, a big block for me is, \

You know, like it just, it's so much stress. And also I hear people say a starter home all the time. And I think I understand what that means but I think it's also such a deeply personal relationship you know, because like for me, I support my family a lot. And so having my cash tied into like a big investment is something that it's a little bit scary but also like you, I moved a lot as a kid. And so the idea of just like, \

I think that I have a lot of emotional work to do-

- [Tonya] I think I do too, yeah.

- about untangling what home ownership means versus my own feelings about it.

- Well, my realtor helped me a lot. And you know, your first home doesn't have to be your dream home as I've told you guys. And I will say that. But I learned that from my real estate agent.

- I'll be walking into a home, \

- It doesn't.

- I'm gonna be chanting that to myself.

- But it also can be, like, when I bought my house my realtor said that to me because I was looking at properties and I was like, \

And she said, \

And she also said, you'll have a feeling when you find a place that you really like. You'll feel like it feels good when you come in. And if you don't feel that, then don't do it. So, that's why the phrase 'starter home' does exist for a reason. And I looked at it like this because I'm also really cautious with my money. When I bought my house, it's a two family house. So it's also income coming in.

- Yeah.

- So it's not just, okay, I'm paying this home mortgage by myself. My mortgage is less, way less, than what my rent would be. And so I also have that income-

- I'm sweating, like hearing you say that.

- On top of that. And then I also thought to myself, right, cause it's my space that I live in is a duplex. So I have three bedrooms, I turned one into a closet. But if things didn't go well, I could also get a roommate and rent out a room and then think of that as another source of income. Where really if I wanted to a roommate and my tenant could pay for the whole entire mortgage and I wouldn't have to pay anything.

- You know, that thing too, that you're saying about relationships. And even, you know, like you sending me that text being like \

I feel like it makes me a little braver because my entire experience of what home ownership can be you know, if I'm really honest is from watching home improvement television, where they-

- Which is most people's-

- But they make it seem really easy, right? Like, \

And so I think that like talking to the people in your life really and being like, oh, like actually that's television, and this is, this is real life. Because like one thing that you were really good about explaining to me about, you know, like all of the money that you need to get together is that there are all these unexpected costs. Like, I didn't know about closing costs. I like didn't know about, you know, like, there's so many hidden costs.

- Possibly PMI that you, if you don't put down a certain amount of money then you might have to pay more into insurance.

- There's, if you have any renovations that you want to do before you move into this space or anything of that nature.

- Yeah, to have to have money in the bank also. So after you close -

- To demonstrate that you can pay Yeah. They wanna see that you have a certain amount of money.

- Oh, you mean that you can't zero out your account?

- No you can't, no.

- Cause I definitely did that when I bought my house and I was like, \

- \

- I will, yeah. But he, you know, he had it saved up. He gave it to me and I did give it back within a month. Actually, I gave back 24 hours like, I'm gonna keep six and then pay that back later.

- Yeah, I like to... I mean, you never know what's going to happen. And that's the thing as a homeowner you never know what's going to happen. And then I know, you know, your home, your starter home isn't your forever home, but you might stay in there a little longer and you might want to make renovations or change the decor up and so forth. And that's a whole thing in itself is moving in and now you have to furnish the space.

- Yes you do.

- And so, it's not just about I'm getting in here now I need couches. I need beds. I need dressers. I need to actually make it look like someone lives here.

- [Angela] But you don't have to get all that right away.

- You don't. But I just hate going to houses and I'm like, you probably could have just waited because it looks like-

- No, I think it's okay to-

- [Tonya] A teenage boy's room.

- To not have all that right away. Because first of all, wherever you're at you probably have some furniture you'll keep anyway.

- Yeah.

- Right, so you'll keep that. I already had my bedroom furniture.

- That doesn't move with you. You gotta start over with that.

- But certain things I already had. And I also think this was good too, right, in my apartment before I bought my house, I did buy certain pieces that I knew I would keep.

- [Tonya] Yeah.

- So when I was ready to buy a house I had a brand new dresser that I hadn't had for that long. I had nightstands. I was like, I know I'm going to keep this when I move. I bought a new couch. So all of those things came with me.

- I think that's important too, to be buying your pieces ahead of time. Like buying these pieces that will last and are good investments.

- [Angela] Right. When there's a sale.

- So that when you are ready to move into your home, you actually have things that you can take with you.

- Well, can I ask you guys a question though, as someone who I feel like you're pretty maybe like settled where you're living, I feel-

- No, I'm not settled.

- Well, okay, then let's talk about it. But like, I think that for me living, you know, and also like you don't have to, like, I don't have to live in New York. I just live in New York right now.

- Mm-hmm.

- But one of the big blocks that I have also in home buying is do I just want to be, you know, like do I want to be here? And so how much does, like, neighborhoods matter? How much does location matter? And how much, you know, and how do you make a criteria for yourself of this is, you know, forget the money. It's like emotionally, like I will be happy doing this. Did you have like a, did you have a system for where you decided that you were going to buy in the neighborhood that you bought in?

- Well, first of all, fortunately for me like I bought in Brooklyn and I'm from Brooklyn so I can see all the changes that's happening in the neighborhood. And so that's important too. Like location is extremely important cause that can dictate whether or not the value of your house is going to go up or down. And I think it's always good to look at neighborhoods that are up and coming. When you can see restaurants coming into the neighborhood you know, they were about to build this, this restaurant moved from one neighborhood to another. Brooklyn's a very, really unique market because there's neighborhoods that people can't afford to live here so now they're moving here. Well, now this is too expensive. So now people are moving here. So you just have to pay attention to where those deals are coming. Where are those new buildings coming in? Where are those new businesses coming? And that's how you know, when something's a good situation. I did that in Detroit with the houses I bought in Detroit I looked at where are people moving to? And where are they actually investing in the city, into what neighborhoods? And I went to Boston-Edison and I flipped a home there. And it was a great situation for me.

- Yeah. I mean, and I know in LA, to think about LA is just really interesting and, you know, I like to live in I guess you consider them historically black communities and so forth. And so right now I live in Inglewood and I love Inglewood. I lived in Bed-Stuy before I left New York. And so I wanted to find something as similar to that as possible. But, one thing I can say about the housing stock here in LA it's, in here in New York, is it makes sense. If you spend $800,000 for a property here or a million, most likely it's gonna be a multi-family unit. In LA they're like million dollar two bedroom houses that have not been renovated since the 1960s. I'm not doing that. I'm just not. So that's why I'm not settled in LA because I just can't wrap my head around that. And so, but community is really important. If I have my dream home in Los Angeles, it would be in the Windsor Hills, Baldwin Hills, Ladera Park area, like Ladera-

- Heights.

- Yes. Ladera Heights. I go to the park, I'd go to Ladera Park but Ladera Heights area because I just, there's just something about walking out and feeling like, \

- Black Beverly Hills, Black Beverly Hills.

- Yeah, like the block parties are amazing. And it's just, yeah, it's beautiful. But I think that's the beautiful thing about home, is it feels familiar.

- And you have a child too so I'm sure you think also about school.

- Well yeah, but he's gonna be home schooled.

- Okay.

- Cause I don't-

- Okay so forget that.

- Breaking, breaking news.

- He's gonna be home schooled but it is also the kids that he's playing with in the neighborhood and so forth and the families that we interact with and what kind of community and tribe we're building around us. So that is important.

- Yeah. I mean, I think my takeaway from this conversation is that I really need to get serious about making my priorities, you know? It's like, what is, what is the, what is the system that I have for myself?

- Do your research. That's all I'm saying is like, get prepared now so when it's time, cause it is a huge purchase. And so when it's time for you to really do it you feel educated on it. So that it's just easier for you. You know, you know how much you pre qualify for, you know how much you can afford, you know what your mortgage payments could be.

- Which I did all of that last season, right.

- Yeah, you did.

- Because you were like, \

And now I'm like, I have to take the next leap of how does that work.

- I think you should write your non-negotiables too, Amina. I think it's important to say, these things are what are most important to me when it comes into what community I live in, what kind of house I live in, et cetera. And then, you know when, that way you have something to measure against when you're looking at something. So you can say, you know what, my non-negotiables are not met here. So this isn't the right unit for me versus this is something that I could give on. Maybe community isn't important to you, but maybe, you know maybe it's a multi-family unit. Maybe there's, you know, accessibility. Maybe there's a backyard or some green space that comes along with the property. So you just have to ride out your non-negotiables.

- And get yourself a great real estate agent and I'll hook you up. I love my realtor, but somebody that you can trust that also knows what you're looking for. So you don't waste your time at looking at things that you wouldn't even consider.

- I love that you're gonna hold my hand through this whole process. I'm gonna dedicate my house warming to you.

- This is a house dedication slash house warming.

- Thank you, Angela Yee. You helped me get through all of my stuff. And now I own a home.

- And I'm just gonna be back here eating the cheese. This is nice.

- For the second half of this week's episode, we're talking to Rasheeda Gray, the founder of Gray Space Interior Design, based out of Philadelphia. Hey, Rasheeda.

- Hey, how are you?

- She's an award-winning interior decorator who's been on HGTV, Good Day Philadelphia and Architectural Digest. She's also received the Best of House Award for every year that she's been in the business.

- Okay, girl.

- Okay.

- Hey now, give it up.

- Every year.

- I love that.

- That's like my dream job. So, welcome Rasheeda.

- Thank you.

- Tell us a little bit about your journey and how you became an interior designer.

- Yeah, sure. So, so thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here with each of you. So I've been a designer for almost four years. We, my firm is Gray Space Interior Design. We specialize in mostly residential and then small commercial interiors. So we operate mostly out of Philadelphia but we also do some online based services as well for anyone who might not be local to the Philadelphia area.

- Cool.

- And Philadelphia spans all the way to Jersey and Delaware and beyond, so.

- [Angela] Just so you know, we reach out.

- We do the entire Eastern Seaboard.

- There you go. That's a better way to say it. But I haven't always been at the interior designer.

- Oh, wow.

- So this is the second career for me. I started in marketing for over 15 years and found that design was my passion and pursued it and just went to full-time in the business a few months ago. So it's been a great journey.

- So do people always come to your house and say, \

- [Rasheeda] All the time. And I didn't, it didn't click for me initially. So I've always been like into painting my apartments and like, you know, whatever design I can do. And as a kid, I did it all the time and it just never seemed like a career until I think I heard someone mentioned earlier like the home channel network, shopping networks. And that kind of thing.

- [Angela] You're like, \

- You're like, \

So it wasn't an initial career choice, but then it clicked. And yeah, people always comment about how my home looks and that kind of thing.

- Some people think it's really expensive to get an interior designer to come in and work with you. So if somebody is on a budget, what are some tips that you can give them?

- Yeah. A couple of things. One, it is an investment. I always say that like, it's your home and you want to make sure that you're putting pride and quality into it.

- [Tonya] For sure.

- Yeah. But I think a lot of designers will say that the best kind of design is not just expensive but like a good mix of high, low. Things that you value that don't cost a ton of money. So you can always take that approach. And then also we offer services like E-design, which is like an online design option. So if you don't want to spend a full design budget, you can always opt for an E-design option. That's a little less expensive.

- And I'm sure you get great deals too. So you probably know where you can go to get stuff and it actually might save people money.

- Right. That's a good thing about designers, working with a designer because we often get wholesale pricing on furniture and things like that. Evens out.

- Yeah, so we like to share those kinds of discounts and savings with our clients. So it's very helpful when working with a designer.

- [Aminatou] Sorry, do you have to, I'm so, I'm such a noob at this. So, because my feeling is that if you're going to hire an interior designer, you have to have a whole house that you're doing. But do people just come to and they're like I just want to do my bathroom or my bedroom or my-

- The kitchen.

- What's the most popular rooms?

- Or just my office.

- Right.

- Is there like a popular room that people like to just do on thing?

- I would say it's kind of split between living rooms because, you know, it's the first thing that everyone sees when they walk in, and then bedrooms is another one that's really popular. So I think the reason that those two are popular is of course, someone walks into your home, living room is first thing they see but the bedroom is kind of like your peace.

- It is. Where you wake up.

- Place where you retreat. So I always say it's an investment, but it's also a way to kind of treat yourself to hire a designer. So if you do your bedroom, it's kind of like my place, my solitude. So, yeah.

- Well not to like talk you out of business. But if somebody is like me and they're like, okay I don't quite have the, you know, like you price it out and you don't quite have the budget for it. I feel that, you know, there's a lot of DIY stuff that you can find on social media. I have so many boards on Instagram and Pinterest and stuff like that. Is there something that you would, you know, you would tell people, like that's an easy thing that you can do yourself, for example.

- Ah yeah. So I would say artwork can be really expensive when doing a design project and there's so many different options out there now with the internet. So you can do something as simple as using fabric and putting that into a frame, a picture frame. And that now becomes a piece of artwork. I've seen folks who maybe, you know, you have a mother, your mom may have a scarf or something that, or a dress that she wore that's been handed down. You can frame that. And so now it's like a part of your home

- I love this.

- And it has a story.

- [Angela] Yes.

- And it's inexpensive. I always hear that the kitchen is one of the most important places in a home if you're talking about adding value to a home. So what are some spaces that really add value if you want to increase that, maybe one day you might want to sell it or, you know, just even get a appraisal and have it appraise higher. What are some suggestions for renovating the kitchen? And is that the most valuable space to actually renovate?

- Yes, you're right on with the kitchen. Kitchen and baths sell homes. And I think it's because-

- [Tonya] That's the thing I look at, the kitchen and the bath.

- Yeah. All the time. And because you spend a lot of time in the kitchen now. And especially with our homes now, the floor plans are more open. So kitchens are often a part of the living space, as opposed to something in the back corner of their home. So kitchens and bathrooms sell homes. I would always suggest to my clients, if they're thinking about moving in a few years and they want to renovate, that's where you want to put your money. Usually get almost a hundred percent return on both of those spaces, kitchens and baths. And then when renovating and you're thinking about selling you want to kind of stick to neutral bases so that it's more appealing to a wide range of buyers, but yeah. Kitchens and baths, for sure.

- Ooh, Tonya, when you were doing your son's nursery, did you have, what were your considerations for how you were decorating that space?

- Pinterest, I use a Pinterest board.

- Yes.

- So I, is a wide variety of different themes but in his room, I didn't want it to be too childish but I also wanted to be somewhat neutral. So there are, there were just certain pieces that actually might be in an older child's room that are in his room so that as he grows. And it's so funny, we really invested in his dresser. I really was intentional about having mid-century modern furniture in his room. So his dresser is a really, really nice dresser and it's going to grow with him.

- Good.

- And his rocking chair-

- He's gonna take it to college.

- Yes. Like this dresser is stuck with you. And his rocking chair is, like his rocking chair is something that we could take out of his room and put in other areas of our house after he decides to, you know, he doesn't need to be rocked to sleep anymore.

- [Rasheeda] That's smart.

- So you wanted that to like blend into your, into your decor. Cause I always feel that sometimes where I'm like, \

- I didn't want it to be, I'm not a characters person. Even as a kid, I didn't like cartoon characters and stuff like that, so-

- So he's not going to like them because-

- He has no choice. I'm gonna be like, \

- A lot of times people will move into places just temporarily. It's not your forever home as we've been talking about. So how do you make a temporary living space feel like home, even if it's just just for a little bit of time?

- Yeah.

- We were just talking about that, Amina. Making an apartment feel like home.

- Right, a lot of people say, Oh I'm not going to work with a designer yet, because I'm not going to stay here long or it's just an apartment or whatever. And my response to that is, you know if you're paying for somewhere to live, you want to make it very homey and feel as if you can stay there for a while. And I like to say you design with things that you can take with you. So again, invest in those solid pieces, like a sofa, like a dresser, that you can take with you. But another idea is to make it home in like a very quick and inexpensive way with pictures of family and friends throughout the home. Gallery walls are all the rage now. Everyone loves a good gallery wall where you have a series of pictures on a wall and then you intertwine, you might intertwine, like I don't know a piece of artwork or something like that to kind of make a story around that gallery wall. So pictures, heirlooms from family, there's peel and stick wallpaper. So if you can't paint, you can use wallpaper and rip it off when you're done, command strips are always good. Cause you can hang with those and not damage wall. So I would say make it home as much as possible by bringing in things that remind you of family and friends.

- [Tonya] I have a question. So yeah, I found that picture frames were a lot more expensive than I realized they were. So do you have a favorite tip as far as saving on picture frames? Sometimes like, you know the artwork, sometimes the framing you're like-

- I took something to get framed, and I just didn't know. I had to take it home with me. I'm like, I'm sorry. I didn't know I couldn't come into this store because nobody told me before.

- They have to show you those different price points of the frames and you're like, wait a minute here.

- I would say, you, of course could do it yourself. But there's retailers that have like coupons and things go on sale. So I always try to get like the 50% off.

- There's some startups that do framing. There's some framing start ups.

- And I would say, you know, just try to, of course the bigger the frame is, the more expensive it is. So if you can compile several smaller versions of it, that might save some money as all.

- [Angela] And there's all different kinds of glass too. Like the one that doesn't reflect. And it's so expensive.

- Can you tell we're about to start a framing business?

- Right?

- Wanna hear something that's so crazy? I just got a bunch of things framed, and the framer is actually trying to sell her business. She's like, \

- I mean...

- I mean, Angela Yee, I'm telling you.

- Schmoney Team Business, like Schmoney Framing.

- Thank you State Farm for letting us start a business. I have a question now for you, because like I'm a renter and a lot of, I, you know, especially in New York a lot of apartments, you want to change so many things.

- Yeah.

- And you obviously have to get permission from your landlord. Sometimes I don't, I'm like \

you know beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. But I was just wondering, like, if you could what are really easy upgrades that you can make, if you're a renter, that's not something that's permanent? You know, on the wall that you can change. Like I have I traditionally have like changed a lot the cabinets in my place, but that's also an investment.

- Right.

- [Tonya] And then they get to keep it.

- Right, and then they get to keep it. But I'm just wondering if there's just a way to like spruce up your space in a way that you can do that.

- You could paint. I love, I always say paint is the least expensive biggest change that you can make in a home. A couple of tips with paint though, because it can get tricky. So before I became a designer, I probably painted one of my kitchens like three times. Cause I was like, this isn't the right color. So a couple of tips. One is always tests out the color, like, no matter what. So test it and leave it on the wall for like morning, day and night. So you can see how the light looks.

- But do you have to prime it when you're testing it also?

- If your walls are dark, yes. But if you have white walls, you can just paint right on top of it. Another tip, especially for New York and Philly and areas where the cities are older, you have to use flat paint.

- [Tonya] That shiny paint-

- Yes, the shiny paint will bounce off of everything. And the light. You will see all the cracks and nail pops and everything else that's in walls. So flat paint to me, it's visually soothing too, flat paint is.

- Yeah I don't like shiny walls.

- And some people are like, \

Well, if you get a good brand, usually, you know, regular not a high end brand, but a nice brand will be helpful. I'm a fan of an accent wall also.

- [Rasheeda] Yes. I love accent walls. Yes. And I do that a lot with wallpaper. So wallpaper is making a- it has made a comeback. It's like legit, everyone uses it. And it's a good way. You can do it on an accent wall, you can do it on the ceiling, you can do it around an entire room. Again peel and stick for apartments. And that kind of thing.

- Did they make it in the sheet sizes? How does peel and stick work?

- [Rasheeda] It's like in a roll. So it covers like 50 square feet per roll. And you can peel it and just put it on and use the squeegee. I've wallpapered and I'm not like super, super handy.

- You're making me feel hopeful.

- My contractor handles all of those things, but it's not too bad to do it yourself.

- Yeah. And I love when people have wallpaper in the bathroom, just like the half bathroom, it looks really nice.

- That's a good way to do something that's that bold. Like you can use a graphic print like big flowers or like birds on wallpaper and bold colors. And it's just a small space. So it doesn't make a big impact.

- So I have a question. What is the first thing you set up when you go into a new space? I mean, you have your wallpaper, or you have your paint and everything. What's the first thing that you're like, \

Is it lighting, is it outlets? What is it?

- Okay. I'll tell you what I do last. I do paint last.

- [Tonya] Oh!

- Wow. Okay, that's counter-intuitive.

- After furniture's in there?

- After we know what the plan is, then I select a paint color. So with design, I always do design plans. And that helps. I would suggest that for the listeners too to start with the plan, like everything that you like throw it on a PowerPoint, throw it on like a mood board or something like that. So you can see how it all works together. But paint is last cause there's a trillion paint colors and you can combine any color to get a color if you don't see it. But one of the first things, I would say something that you use most would be the sofa or seating. You want to make the space as comfortable for you as possible. So if it's a bedroom, the bed. And if it's a living room, seating first. Cause that's really important.

- [Tonya] I've always done the reverse. I pick my furniture out after the walls are painted.

- You're like, \

- It's tough, cause then you're like trying to make sure your furniture matches your paint.

- It's true though. I can't fall in love with a couch because it doesn't match the paint.

- Unless you do all neutral walls, right?

- But some of the like, you know, gray you can have a gray that looks red or gray that looks blue. So it's tough.

- Or purplish. That's true.

- Now for people who are looking for an interior designer, what are some ways they can get matched up with somebody good? What kind of questions should you be asking? How would you recommend somebody select an interior designer?

- A lot of people don't realize is like personality matches. You spend a lot of time with a designer or a contractor. I mean, some of my practice projects go on for a year and a half, two years.

- Mm.

- [Tonya] Wow.

- And so it's like a relationship, you know? I'm like listen, we go together now. You know, so just make sure you have a good personality match with the designer and then the reviews and then just get a good idea of budget.

- [Angela] Right.

- So a designer should be able to tell you this is what I think you'll need to do your project the way that you want to.

- And would that include also the designer fee, whenever you give that budget? Okay. That's helpful to know. Well, you know I think also those relationships go both ways. What's the best thing that somebody can do to be a good client, you know, to a designer? Like should you have a mood board? Should you like, how do you, how do you even, you know develop that vocabulary to say like, What do I want? What do I need? And how do we set expectations so that it works well together?

- Right, I love when I go to a consultation that's the first time I meet the client and they have a Pinterest board and I'm like, \

Because it's so difficult when someone doesn't really know what they want. We have tricks on how to figure out what they like. Like there will be times when we're talking about closets, that I will go into a potential client's closet to see what colors are there, what they wear, what patterns, because that can translate into their home as well. So if you don't have a Pinterest board or a house board or anything like that, that's fine, but that's super helpful. And then also I would say a good idea on budget, a realistic timeline, and then just the ability to trust the process and trust the designer. We're typically creative people. And so we'd like to kind of flow. And if you are reaching out to that person because of the internet, you've already done your research. And you're like, okay, I like what they do. So you just have to trust the process.

- Sometimes people are probably like, \

- But then you started doing stuff and they're like, \

- Everybody knows what they don't like. They don't know what they do like.

- That's true. That might be important to have a good understanding as a client of what you don't want in your house.

- We've even asked things like before meeting with the client about like your ideal vacation spot and like, you know we'll figure out their design style and you know what function you need in the space. So as designers we do a little digging too before meeting with the client.

- One thing that meant a lot to me in my house was lighting. Like as far as I have, chandeliers everywhere. Like above the dining room table.

- In your closet.

- Yes, yes.

- But I love that. Like I love that we have, I think that lights just really define the character of the room too.

- Right. Yeah. There's multiple types of lighting. You always have your ambiance lighting, which is your overhead lighting. And then you have task lighting. That's like a lamp on a table or at a desk.

- Task lighting.

- I didn't even realize that's a light. I'm like babe, turn on the task light please.

- Now I know. Now I know, everything has a word.

- It's so important. And even like light bulbs and the way that they give out certain colors. So there's like soft white, which really is a yellow color.

- I hate yellow light.

- [Rasheeda] Yes. Me too.

- I like bright white light.

- [Rasheeda] You like daylight color looking lighting, which has a blue undertone to it.

- You can buy that.

- Yeah. I only purchase those light bulbs in my house now.

- It's super important. Lighting will make or break a room.

- I have a pink light that I like.

- Red light special.

- It's just like very Instagram, I'm just saying.

- I feel like if you Instagram at your house, or if you're doing flat lays and stuff like that in your house, you need that white light so you don't have to go outside.

- Like in my dining room, I have the yellow sort of light. Cause that's like a mood setting space But like, in my office I have the brighter light.

- [Angela] Okay. Good to know.

- That's good to know. I like that it's a collaborative process.

- Absolutely.

- So, and you probably learn a lot about yourself while you're doing that.

- Yep. Yeah. We always like, it's important, like as designers it's important to get to know the client because it's their home and they're going to be there for awhile. So you want them to feel like it's their home and you just help to execute that vision.

- Right. I'm sure you get a lot of referrals from people coming to someone's house and saying \

- Right.

- Oh, well let me put you on. That's the best way to do it.

- I know someone.

- Right, because that you've already built trust with that person. And I don't know about you you guys, but like, if a friend tells me about something I'm like, all right, I'm more willing to try it then you know, just, you know, a random person on Instagram or something like that. Yeah.

- I feel like you're making me feel very calm about it.

- [Tonya] I'm ready to go get to work. I wanna go do some design work.

- So like, you know, let's do our money meditation together. So, you know, we're all going to center ourselves and just take some deep breaths. And if you're at home, I suggest you do the same thing. And for today's money meditation, we're going to build our dream homes. So take a moment to imagine where your home is. Is it a bungalow by the beach? Is it a penthouse that's overlooking a downtown? Is it a farmhouse in a countryside? Is it a huge compound where your friends and your family would have all the places to spend the night? Or maybe it's just a tiny home with just enough space for your tiny family. Just think about what that is for you.

- Definitely not the tiny home.

- Angela's like, \

- That's not even enough for me. Oh, do I start?

- Will you tell me about your dream home?

- Yeah, well dream homes. Plural. But I would say primary, okay. So my primary place of lodging. I actually like ranch style homes. It would be Spanish style architecture. I really want that Spanish tile flooring. I'm in love with those floors now. I'm in LA right now, so a Palm tree lined street is really important to me with a beautiful landscaped backyard area with drought resistant plants and foliage.

- Wow, you really planned that out.

- I know what I want.

- I really want that for you, Tonya. That's beautiful. You're gonna get it. I love that.

- Yes. Yeah.

- [Aminatou] I love that.

- Well, for myself, I've always loved brownstones. Obviously I'm from Brooklyn and brownstones growing up in Brooklyn is like the be all end all so, and I love tall, tall ceilings and that's part of the reason why I love a brownstone. So I would love to have one with four floors.

- [Rasheeda] One for the closet.

- [Angela] Right, because I would love more space with a finished basement that could be like a rec room area. And I would love to have a pool in my backyard because I can't swim. Maybe I can learn how to swim.

- Oh, I might teach you how to swim. Let's do that. Let's do that.

- But I think backyard space is really important too, just to have a space to you know, I'm very into entertaining also. So that's important to me and I love original details. So when I talk about brownstones I don't want like a super modern looking house. I love houses that have original details that have just huge spaces, huge tall ceilings, like just really grand.

- I see it like the doors, the beautiful doors.

- Yeah, French doors. I love French doors. Yes. And I love the windows that just like the wooden windows that you can open up.

- Oh, I love those windows.

- Yeah, and chandeliers of course. Brass chandeliers. Walk-in closet.

- You know, this question is so funny to me because I get so stuck on what city will it be in. But I think, you know, I'm gonna remove that from the equation. I was in Japan over Christmas and New Year's and the homes there are so they're so architectural and I really fell in love with just like concrete as a building material. And I'm like, that's actually what I want. I want a house that's like mostly concrete. I want it to be very soft inside but I want the house itself to be a strong, I want it to be a strong look. I want a bold look, sharp lines, like beautiful angles, light that is just like traverses through beautiful spaces. But I like a really peaceful inside. Like I'm a, you know, my bed is always white. My sheets are always white. That's what I want. And I want, I want enough space for all of my people to be able to just come through, you know. I love a second or a third bedroom. I want a space that I can work in. You know, I want my office to be in my, like, I work from home most of the time. So I want, that's what I'm really going after. I want it to be really peaceful. And I want a space for all my books to live. I have so many books. I'm like, I am ready for the book. Like I want my books to live somewhere. That's a house for me and my book children.

- I think books make great artwork too. Cause I definitely have bookshelves all over in my house.

- I mean, I have an, all of my books have a huge significance to me. Like if you're a book that I've read and I didn't love it I probably passed it on to someone. All of the books in my house are books that I've read and I love and so it has like such a significance for me, but I just, yeah. And like you, I want to pool.

- Yeah. That'd be nice. Since we're talking about dreams, I mean.

- Yeah it dreams, but I really want a place where like all of my friends' kids can just be like dropped off and have a good time. And I'm like, I want to be in that house. Where like we have dinner, we hang out, we have breakfast and just like hang.

- You want people to come over, like, \

- Yeah. That's what it's about. I too would love a home where it's like super huge. So if you like walk through the front door. I want the double staircase that leads up. But I just really would love a place that's, like you said big enough to host family and friends all the time. I entertain all the time. So, and then like the lower level where you can drop the kids and it's just let them live and not worry about things getting broken.

- [Angela] Video game set up.

- Right. But like the room where it's all white and glass and beautiful. And kitchen to be open.

- Yeah.

- I'm not a big cook every day but when it comes to like big holidays and entertain and I love to cook that way. So I would love a big open kitchen as well. And tall windows, lots of great details, like a brick wall, that's amazing.

- I love floor to ceiling brick walls.

- I wanna be the Thanksgiving house. Thank you for, now I know that. That's on my list of non-negotiables now.

- We're building that list out. We're building that - that's good. The meditation helped. Hopefully it helps someone else build their list of non-negotiables and what they really want in a living space.

- Right. Well, we do want to hear what you came up with. So let us know your response to this week's money meditation just by posting on social media. Make sure you use that hashtag, #LiveColorFull, with two L's at the end of full. So that's Live Color and Full with two L's at the end. Thanks for listening and make sure you tune into next week when we're going to get into the things that you should know before traveling.

- Welcome to an all new episode of Color Full Lives, presented by State Farm. This season, we're focusing on all the things that we wish we knew before major life events. In this week's episode, we're going to dig into all the things that you should know before traveling. This is one of our favorite topics. It's universal for all of us, because besides being financial experts, we love to travel. Period.

- We do love to travel, but we also, you know, sometimes we travel for work, but also we travel for pleasure. I wanna focus a little bit on the work portion.

- [Tonya] Yeah.

- [Aminatou] Angela, do you have like a set routine when you travel for business to, you know, like, how do you make that more enjoyable? Because sometimes it's a real drag

- Yes.

- And you know, it's just, you know, it's either you go with the flow or you have a very set, like, kinda military style that you're on the road. How does that work for you?

- People think I'm very militant when it comes to traveling. So, my friends are like, okay, relax. But, here's what I do. First of all, I like to travel on the same airline. So I get all of those perks and benefits, and those miles and upgrades and that status. So I do that. I also have a credit card for that airline. And with that credit card, I'm able to access the lounge and bring two people in with me for free. So, you have to think when there's all those flight delays, things are going wrong, you get to the airport early, you have a layover, at least you can go in the lounge, and relax, do some work. You have access to the wifi. You know, there'll be somewhere to sit. You can get some food, some snacks and you're just more comfortable. So I think that's important. And the other thing that I like to do is I hate rushing. So I always give myself extra time. You'll never know what can go wrong in the airport. If you're pulling up and there's traffic, maybe there's a long line, even if you have everything. Cause I have clear, I have everything you can possibly get to make travel faster, but things can still happen. So I also like to pad that time so that even if I get to the airport early, at least I'm relaxed. 'Cause there's nothing more stressful than, you get to the airport, and makes you aggravated, and then it makes you maybe be rude to a travel agent who could help you. And then they decide not to, because you're being rude.

- You're taking your anger out on them, when it's not their fault that you decided to show up.

- Right, so I do all of those things just to ensure that things go pleasantly. I also like to take the first earliest flight out.

- Oh! And that's a good trick,

- Okay. because things get delayed throughout the day.

- That's true.

- So when you take that first flight, you have a greater chance of being on time, because the later you get, a flight is late coming in then you're late going out, and then things just get pushed back more and more and more.

- [Tonya] That's so true.

- Yeah, I'm definitely more laid back, when I'm traveling for myself. But when I travel for work, I think I just get in a different mindset. It's just warrior mindset. And I think also for planning, you have to be really careful if you're an entrepreneur. You have to like keep those bills separately. I keep like, you know, that accounting is very different because, a lot of times you're, you know, like, you're asking for reimbursements at the IRS and all that kind of stuff. So I think that having a system where you are organized and it's easy to just pass on to your accountant, that's probably the best thing to do.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- But, yeah.

- Yeah, and I think like, so, do you guys ever add in personal on-business trips?

- [Aminatou] Always.

- [Angela] Always.

- You know.

- [Aminatou] Always.

- Take an extra day, baby.

- Always.

- [Tonya] It's kinda nice to travel on someone else's dime. I know before I became an entrepreneur, that was a goal of mine that I was gonna see as many places as possible on other people's dime.

- I'm here.

- Yeah, and you get those airline miles and everything. And I have some, a few friends who travel frequently and that's one of the things I think that they're leaving on the table is, even though you're traveling for your company or someone else, it doesn't mean you can't plug your airline miles, your frequent flyer number in there, whatever rewards program it is. It doesn't mean that you can't add those to your hotel points

- [Angela] Right.

- and so forth, like, travel smart.

- I use all my points. As a matter of fact, every year I'm able to take a free trip just based off of my miles and my points.

- Yeah.

- So I think that's great. Like all that work you do, and then you have all those miles. And then, and again, with my credit card I'm also able to book a flight for someone else, like a buddy that travels on the same itinerary.

- [Tonya] Oh, yeah!

- And it could be any - it has to be in the United States, but they get to travel and get the equivalent flight with me. So, I get that once a year also.

- [Tonya] Oh, let's talk about what card that is. We'll talk about what that card is.

- I'm like, oh.

- So, now Tonya, you do have a child now?

- Yes.

- And, you fly with him?

- Yes.

- So, tell me how that's different, and how you prepare for that?

- He's a frequent flying baby, yes. Honestly, he's been in more flights than a lot of people in my family.

- [Angela] Wow.

- Karris flies quite frequently. It is interesting. I was actually just booking a flight before we decided to record. So, with him I did have to get things that made it easier for me to travel with him, so there's a specific stroller that I take on the road with us, only it converts into a car seat. So I literally drop the stroller, it turns into a car seat so I can pop it in and out of cars, without having to worry

- about carrying a base and everything else. So that's his travel car seat. I have about four different carriers, but I have one carrier specifically that I can take through TSA, because it's just all cloth. So it doesn't go off when I'm going through, going through the metal detector. So I use

- and it folds down really easily I can put it in his bag, or I can just wear it around my waist or wear it around my neck like a little neck cover. And then nursing, because I'm nursing him. Sometimes we have to nurse him on the flight, so I always have to make sure that where I'm traveling and, you know, in economy, that we get the extra row... Extra room seat so that I can stretch out, so that he can play around, or so that I can nurse him comfortably.

- [Angela] Right.

- So it's just a lot more things into consideration. At first, I was really nervous about traveling with the baby and if my child was going to be that child -

- [Angela] Ooh, and you'd be on that plane like, I need to move my seat. Maybe they will not -

- Can you shut him up, like. But, honestly, I had really good fortune when it comes to traveling with people who understand children, or who have grandchildren and are really understanding. So, for anyone who's nervous about traveling with children, just do your research ahead of time. I wrote a blog post about it. I referenced a lot of different blog posts about it. Just prepare it.

- Is it annoying when people would try to touch the baby, like on the plane? And they're like, \

- I had one flight attendant that kept trying to kiss him!

- [Angela] What?

- Girl.

- [Angela] Relax!

- I know you are someone's auntie, but this is not your nephew. I definitely had someone who kept trying to kiss Karris. It's like, oh, we tried to minimize,

- That's so awkward.

- That's so awkward.

- At one point I felt bad about setting boundaries around how other people interacted with him. But I was like, if I don't, who will?

- Right.

- Yeah.

- Like, if there's anything I can set boundaries around, is this little person that I brought into this world.

- [Aminatou] Yeah. So yeah, that was...

- [Angela] He's too little to be like, nah, chill out.

- [Tonya] She was so sweet to him, and I was like, no, you can't kiss him.

- [Aminatou] That's so weird.

- It is. So, Amina. I mean, spending significant time abroad. How has that changed your perspective? And what's the biggest difference between traveling close to home and further away from home?

- That's the traveling I want to do, what Amina does.

- I mean, you know, it's funny for me, like, I'm an immigrant here, so America was abroad, not where I'm from. So I think that that's always something to keep in mind. I think, you know, probably by the time I was in high school, I had traveled more than most people that I know. And it's, I think that it gives you a kind of open mind. It teaches you how to be flexible and just, you know, I think that for me it was really good with being independent. But I think another thing that I'm realizing a lot as an adult is that you don't have to go far to travel.

- [Tonya] Oh, yeah.

- So I, you know, like, I moved to the States 15 years ago now and I am really loving traveling in America because one, it's a huge country. It's really nice. And there's always something, there's always something to discover. And I think about the feeling of, you know, you can just go, I'm like, you can do that on a weekend.

- Yeah, right.

- You don't have to like pack up your bags and go to Prague or go climb a mountain somewhere in a foreign country. So I think that keeping that in mind and also, you know, the idea, of a lot of the ideas that you have about tourism like it's expensive or you're entitled to it or all of these things, it's, you know, a good way to prep for overseas travel is probably to explore where you're from first.

- Oh, I agree.

- And then you figure that out.

- There's so much to see, like, we were thinking about that before we leave California. There's so many places I want to see in and around California, like on the West Coast, because I don't think I traveled to the West Coast until I was 25.

- [Aminatou] Wow. And it's so beautiful. It's so beautiful.

- [Tonya] Yeah.

- There's a lot I haven't seen on the West Coast. I feel like I go to the same places all the time.

- [Tonya] Exactly.

- And a lot of times I do go places just for work. So you're in there, you do your work in your hotel room and that's it.

- Yeah. I always do, like, I always do a Google search for 'day trip' plus the city that I'm in, because I find that that's a really easy way to be, like, if you're in any major city, what's something that's close by that you can see and, you know, it's nice and you can, you can explore without having to spend too much money and you still got that same feeling of adventure.

- That's really smart.

- Now, adding onto this, let's talk about rental cars and rental properties.

- [Aminatou] You know, I do a lot of rental properties for, I don't like it when I'm traveling just by myself. I will always stay at a hotel, but whenever we go on tour for our podcasts, a lot of times we will get a house because we want to live communally. And also there are a lot of travel experiences that I have with, there's a group of friends that we always plan a trip together, and it's nice to have a kitchen that you can all cook in and hang out. So that's really nice. But I think that you really have to weigh that against, sometimes it is cheaper to get a hotel than to get a group house. So you should do your research. And also you need to do a lot of research on all of the fees that are hidden in that, right? So there are a lot of platforms where you will see the price and then you realize like, oh, they slapped tax onto that. There is a cleaning fee. There is a fee for, you know,

- Towels, the towel fee.

- Exactly.

- Next thing you know...

- There's all sorts of things.

- There's all sorts of things, and I always tell people, I was like, whatever platform that you're on, make sure that it is the safest one that you can be on, you do your, you research everything. If you see the house address, I also will Google what the address is. And then look to see if people have given reviews for that place. But you know, and there's also, unfortunately, a lot of fraud that happens with rental properties. So if anybody ever asks you to send them a money order, that's fraud.

- Woo.

- If they ask you, any time that you're on a platform, if somebody is asking you to interact with them off of the platform, that's a huge, that's a huge, huge risk.

- [Tonya] That's a good tip.

- And you should also look, every city has their own kind of ordinances around how it works. So if the city that you're in, for example, doesn't like short-term rentals. You should probably know about that because it'll affect, you know, you should always prepare for the worst that can happen.

- [Tonya] Like you show up and you can't get into -

- [Aminatou] Exactly. Or the city bust the unit, or you have a disagreement with the landlord. It's like, who do you go to to, to repair that? And so, you know, not being cavalier about it, I think it's really, it's really important because it's, your safety is at risk.

- Right.

- Yeah.

- And then with the rental cars, sometimes you get a rental car and you don't know, am I supposed to get the insurance? Am I supposed to get this? Do I prepay for the gas? Or am I okay with buying gas when I'm in a rush to get to the airport and have to return it?

- [Tonya] Yeah. I don't, you know, when it comes to getting the additional insurance with a rental car, I always ask myself, how much am I going to utilize this car? What's the probability that I'm going to be in a situation where I'm subjecting myself to an accident because if I'm just driving the car, say, I pick it up and I have to drive... One time I had to go to some part of Pennsylvania that was definitely far from Philadelphia. But it was literally me just like driving and leaving my car at the hotel and just keeping it at that hotel. And so for me, I didn't feel like I needed to get insurance for that, versus if I'm driving, I'll be driving around like the city, I'll be going shopping. I'll be doing other things. I'll be driving to dinner. I feel like my likelihood of getting in an accident is more, it's more likely that something could happen. So I usually will get the insurance.

- [Angela] Although you never know when something gets-

- [Tonya] You never know, like, they say most accidents happened close to home, you know?

- And then you'd be like, this is the one time I didn't get the insurance!

- Right!

- But you should also look at the credit card that you used to rent the car with, because sometimes you have coverage through your credit card. So if you're somebody who travels a lot you should just be on top of all of that, right?

- And if you have your own insurance, right...

- Yeah, they might have, they might have something in your policy that allows you to, for auto coverage-

- But whatever you do, the late fees, that's what's going to kill you.

- Late fees always, like in general, I think late fees in life.

- [Aminatou] Late fees in life, avoid them at all costs.

- [Tonya] But you don't want to turn it, you know, and I think, everything's happened when you're on the road, is really calling and communicating.

- Yeah, just let them know.

- Yeah, because I've had instances where I'm going to be late, there's traffic or, you know, something went over. And so I have to call them and let them know I'll be turning the car in.

- You can't just not show up.

- [Tonya] Yeah, just show up late, just walk onto the lot three hours later, like where have you been? But also that with hotels too, you know, late check out, a lot of people don't realize that you can contact them. And that's the benefit of being on top of your rewards points and staying at hotel properties that you have loyalty with. Because a lot of times they'll extend that courtesy because you're a loyalty member.

- [Angela] Yeah. Trust me. I am the queen of late checkouts. I'd call and say, like, \

- I don't think I ever checked out on time.

- I always, I always ask when I check in but I am also on a program where, for most of the properties that I stay on, my checkout is 4:00 PM, so I'm really happy to do that.

- But, again...

- [Angela] It's like another whole day.

- [Tonya] It's like, what program is that?

- [Aminatou] It's very nice. I'll tell you about it off air.

- I know, I have some tips to take from you guys, which is great. I love that, because I feel like I'm always learning, and upgrade my life.

- You should always ask when you check in. You should say like, I want, I always ask for a late checkout. Even if I have to, my flight's at 8 a.m..

- You know what? I do ask them, and they always say, well, we can't tell you right now, but we can tell you, you know, tomorrow.

- Yeah. And then one thing I always, going back to rental cars, is making sure that you document any damage on the car before you drive it off of their lot.

- Take those pictures!

- Yes, I document that. 'Cause, I did not do this scrape in the back, or this is not my dent in the hood. You know, sometimes I'll just ask for a new vehicle if I feel like this other vehicle has been through it.

- [Angela] It's a little dinged up!

- [Tonya] You know what? I don't trust this vehicle. Let me go ahead and get another vehicle. But make sure you're documenting those damages so you don't get charged for it.

- [Angela] And you can also join a loyalty program for the car rental place. And that'll give you better rates. Most of the time too. I rented a car for my dad, he was driving to Detroit. And so I actually joined the rewards program just because, because I don't rent cars that much, but I did it just so that we could get a better rate.

- [Tonya] I love my, the company that I use my, for most of my rentals with, and it incentivizes me to utilize them. I like, they have my name when I pull up and everything,

- [Angela] Right, easy.

- and they have the car there. But it's wonderful when you feel valued by the company that you paid your -

- [Angela] And it's the same thing with the hotels and the rental cars. They have a separate line sometimes if you're a member and you use that particular company a lot, then you don't even have to wait on the line sometimes with the car, you can just actually just walk up, and the keys would be there for you. And you don't even have to wait online and go through that whole process. So it's worth it for things like that.

- [Tonya] There's so many ways to get more for your buck when you're traveling. And I'm happy that we're sharing those because we are frequent travelers and other people who are figuring out, you know, how can I travel more? This is how you can do it, better for less.

- [Angela] We're talking a lot about traveling in this week's episode. And we hope that sharing our perspective helps. But this podcast isn't the only resource. There are nearly 19,000 State Farm agents all over the US, who are waiting to help protect what's important to you, and guides you through major life milestones. For this week's Ask an Agent segment, we reached out to Zanetta Harris Glover, who has an office in Newark, New Jersey to get some practical advice on how to make your next trip your best trip.

- [Zanetta] Ladies, we love to travel. I hope this episode has you thinking about somewhere special you would like to visit soon. I know I am. So let's talk about some ways you can save and budget for a dream vacation. Price out each part of your travels to estimate how much to save. Think about where you want to go, how you will get there, where will you stay, where you will eat, how you will get around, and how much extra spending money will you need. Calculate a ballpark estimate of these costs. And you got yourself a goal to shoot for. Save for your trip without thinking. You can setup auto transfer between bank accounts, or have your employer direct deposit specific amounts to separate accounts. This helps you put aside a dollar amount or a percentage before it even hits your purse. You'll be less tempted to spend vacation money if you already stash it away. I would also consider opening a separate vacation or travel account. It's easy to open an extra bank account, and with automatic transfers, you can watch your savings grow as if by magic. For additional tips on savings and budgeting for travel, talk to your local State Farm agent, or visit us at statefarm.com.

- [Angela] For the second half of today's show we're being joined by Jessica Nabongo. She's a jet setter with ambitious plans to be the first black woman to travel the entire world. That's goals. She's fresh off a trip to Pakistan, and only has a handful of countries left on her global bucket list. What's up, Jessica?

- [Jessica] Hello! I'm so excited to be here.

- So many questions for you.

- So many places you could be!

- We're ready to pounce. We're ready to pounce. We're ready to pounce. Well, you know, I, my first question is a very boring question but I think is important, is an important question. How does travel insurance factor into how you live your life? Because I feel like a lot of people decline the option whenever it pops up, but I feel like you have a lot of use cases for why somebody should probably get insurance at least sometimes.

- Definitely at least sometimes. Take my advice. Don't follow what I do. But I think the travel insurance, for me, the most important part, and this is morbid, but it's something that we have to think about. The most important part for me is getting insurance that covers, if I end up in the hospital, that allows for someone to fly in. And in the ultimate case of death, that repatriates my remains. People don't realize how important that is. I've seen a number of incidents recently where someone dies and like, the community comes together to help their family bring their body home. But travel insurance can help you with that, if you find the right insurance.

- Wow.

- So also if you get sick while traveling abroad, anything can happen, for sure. And so travel insurance definitely will help to take care of some of those things.

- I have an insurance question. I was really mad about this. I bought a flight, right. And normally I don't buy the insurance on the flight, but I was like, okay, I'm going to do it just in case things change. And then things did change. 'Cause I felt like it probably would. So I bought the flight insurance, but then, I try to use it and they're like, \

I didn't read the fine print. So I thought they would just refund my money, 'cause I got insurance on it. I don't, yeah. I've never bought it before. Yeah. It's really annoying.

- Yeah, so... Yeah. I agree. I do feel like the automatic, like on the website, the automatic insurance, it's only if you have like a medical emergency or something-

- [Angela] If somebody in your family, if something happens.

- Yeah, there's still unfortunately, no way to protect your investment in a trip unless you buy a refundable ticket, which usually is like five times the price and not really worth it. So yeah. Unfortunately, there's still not something for that just yet.

- [Tonya] Yeah. That happened to me. And I called the credit card -

- I called them too, yeah.

- Yeah. I called directly and be like, listen, this is an emergency. They're not agreeing to my terms. And yeah.

- But the other thing is-

- I got my money back.

- Oh you did.

- I got my money back. Yeah, no, they, they went ahead. They, they disputed the purchase. Well, this was because we were going to Kenya around the time that they had the terrorist attacks and the air, they did not want to give me my money back. The airline didn't want to give us our money back so I called the credit card company. I said, I don't feel safe traveling to this country. They have elevated the travel risk, and I want to cancel this trip. And they said, that sounds like a reason to dispute it with me and they disputed it, I got my money back.

- [Jessica] Yeah. And to piggyback on that, you guys talked earlier a lot about loyalty, being loyal to an airline is super important when you have those last minute changes. For me, it happened just yesterday. I was flying another airline and we were so delayed, that I missed my flight out to Detroit, and the airline that I'm loyal to allowed me to change my flight to the next day. They had no obligation to do that. I, you know, that ticket was for yesterday and I missed it. That's it. But because I'm loyal to them, they changed my flight to today and I had no penalty. So loyalty is super, super important. 'Cause I'm good for calling like, \

And most of the time they'll even waive the change fee.

- [Angela] Yes. They've waived the change fee. That's what I think is good to also be pleasant, because even though you can be aggravated, and you call up and you have an attitude, but if you're pleasant, there's things they can do and they will try to help you. But if not, they're like, \

- Yeah. I mean, and then also, you know, do you ever rent a car when you're traveling? And what are some of the ways that you save when you're traveling?

- [Jessica] Yeah. I love going on road trips. So I've done road trips through a lot of Eastern Europe. I've done road trips in South Africa, Swaziland, and Lesotho, and Botswana. And then of course, road trips around the US, so road trips are one of my favorite things. Loyalty. Again, I'm going to keep coming back to that, because you gain so much through loyalty and for a lot of rental car companies, they're global. So you're going to find them in most places that you're going to go to. And as far as insurance, again, finding a really good travel credit card. If you do that, a lot of times they'll cover rental car insurance. So that's what I use. So I never have to buy the extra insurance, because my credit card covers it.

- A lot of times we have employers, also they have discounts and we should check that.

- Yup.

- Because I know at my job, they have all kinds of discounts at different hotels and with car companies. And I never think like, let me check and see if my job has a discount at this hotel. And a lot of times they do have programs.

- [Tonya] I would say even our co-working space, the co-working space that Amina and I are members of, they actually have discounts for their members. And so even if, you know, you're an entrepreneur, and you know, non-traditionally employed, there are other things that you might be a part of that offer discounts and you should really look into them. Amina has inspired me.

- [Aminatou] I'm telling you.

- She's the discount queen!

- I love the perk. I love the perk. It's the only reason I joined things. It's the reason I go places. But I find also that if you use that as your constraint a lot of times, like, oh, I'm a member of this club, or I have this kind of credit card. It helps you kind of narrow down the options that you have. And when you're traveling, it's good because there's too many options. And then you're like, okay, these are the places I can stay, this is what I can do. But Jessica, I'm wondering if you can talk a little bit about, you know, sometimes, and we've talked, we touched on this earlier. You don't have a lot of time to spend somewhere, you know?

- Right.

- So it's like, you're on a business trip, and you're like, okay, I'm gonna extend it by two days, or in your case, you are trying to see the whole world. You know, there's only 24 Beyonce hours in a day. So I just like, I wonder, like, how do you prioritize what you're going to do, when you're somewhere for not very long.

- I think it depends on your interests. So for me, I'm super interested in local culture. I don't care as much about tourist attractions. So I prioritize by linking up with a local person, like almost immediately. So whether it's through my grad school network, or through Instagram, I ask people a lot of times on Instagram, if they're in the cities or countries that I'm going to, I'd rather spend 24 hours hanging out with someone local than like going and taking pictures of, like, buildings and things like that. Because for me that allows me to get, like, an in-depth feeling about the country.

- [Tonya] I'm interested, is there a city that you traveled to that you weren't able to find anybody in? Or a state, a country that you traveled to? And you're like, \

- You know, what's so funny?

- The country is empty.

- So, Tuvalu, which is... Right, exactly. One of the world's least visited countries, it's in the South Pacific, definitely did not, no one had recommendations. No, there was nothing.

- Tuva-who?

- Right, exactly. And so when I got on my flight, I flew from Fiji. The woman sitting behind me just started chatting with me, and I was like, you know, what were you doing? What are you going to Tuvalu for?

- Who are you?

- [Jessica] Yeah. \

And she was like, what? Super sweet. And her, her husband was a former minister, and he's still a politician. And so they ended up taking me around the island. They loaned me one of, their boat and like,

- [Tonya] What?

- [Jessica] two guys to take me island hopping.

- That's amazing!

- [Jessica] 'Cause the country is made up of nine islands.

- You have to follow her on Instagram. Her Instagram is amazing.

- [Angela] I am!

- [Tonya] After this I'm, I'm stalking you, Jessica.

- Yeah. So like, honestly, it always works out.

- Yeah. Cause that's to, whoever's on the flight with you, clearly they're going to the same place you're going to.

- [Aminatou] They're like, I've never seen her before.

- [Tonya] I feel like, girl, I know why I'm here, what are you doing here?

- [Jessica] Exactly. So even when I was flying to Iran, I was on the flight and the guy sitting next to me was like, what are you doing? I'm like going for tourism. And he's like, okay, take my number. If there's anything you need at all while you're in the country, let me know. So it really has been relying on the kindness of strangers. And I think the one thing that I've learned from traveling, I've been to 191 countries now,

- the one thing that I've learned is that most people are good. Like, most people are not trying to steal from you, or cheat you or anything like that. So if you just travel with positive energy, then the universe is going to bring it back to you.

- And be smart about it, too.

- Yeah, yeah, for sure.

- And speaking of being smart, let's talk about money when you're traveling, and credit cards. So what are your best practices for money and credit cards when you travel?

- [Jessica] So for money, I always say to people who want to travel more chase the deal, not the destination. So there's, if you just search online 'flight deals' you'll find a ton of websites that have daily subscription services so you can find this -

- I use one of those. You get an alert, every time.

- I got three, I look at them every single day, it's like my newspaper in the morning. And then for sure, finding a travel rewards card is super important because you gain free travel from your everyday spending.

- [Angela] Do you always bring cash, and do you change your money over when you travel to different countries?

- That's a good question. So I always have a couple hundred dollars, US dollars, in my wallet, cash, and it has to be crisp dollars. So what you can use in the US, you cannot necessarily use abroad. So usually it has to be -

- [Angela] No tape on it.

- No tape, no tears, not even a corner. And it usually has to be like newer than 2009. This sounds very specific. And it is for a reason and the bigger the bills, it's better, because if you're exchanging cash in certain countries, if you have twenties, they'll give you less money than if you... So I always travel with hundreds or fifties. So as a rule, I don't actually exchange cash. I use a bank, I use an ATM because I get a better rate.

- [Angela] Right.

- And so the biggest thing about which card to use like, which bank to use, find a bank that doesn't charge you foreign transaction fees and that doesn't charge you ATM fees. My bank, every month, I get... I see a line item of all my ATM fees being refunded to me.

- [Angela] Right, I get that waive too.

- Yeah, that's huge. Because some banks will charge you like $6 for using a foreign ATM, plus the foreign ATM fee of 3%. And if you go to the ATM multiple times during that trip you end up spending like 50 bucks and fees for, for what?

- That's good advice, because you get to the airport and they always have, like, the MoneyGram place, where you can -

- [Aminatou] Don't go to those places.

- Don't change cash.

- [Aminatou] Yeah, don't change cash.

- That's good advice. Use the ATM.

- I was gonna say, on using debit cards, notifying your bank too, right? I mean, but I'm like, do you have a permanent notification with your bank? Your bank is like, \

- Yeah, she's there.

- [Jessica] Like, I love the banks that I work with and my credit card company. I don't call them anymore.

- [Tonya] Okay, like, this is notated on your account, but I know sometimes I've been able to log in from the app. Now I think a lot of banks are allowing that when you log in from the app and notify them that you're traveling.

- Yeah, my bank does that and you can do it for your debit cards and your credit cards. And it's always, it's good to have, yeah.

- [Angela] What about your phone, like the phone bill? Because when you travel from country to country, then I'm sure, you know, there's different plans that you have to be on.

- [Jessica] That's a good point. I actually use an American carrier for most of my travels because they cover, like, 210 countries, which is insanely amazing. And where they don't cover, depending on the length of time I'm there, I'll buy a SIM card or I will not, and then I'll just allow myself to live in the moment. Exactly. And just connect to wifi when I'm at the hotel.

- Right. Cause you can also do like audio with the wifi too.

- Oh yeah, for sure.

- Then you don't have to pay for the phone call.

- Yup. For sure.

- So I'm curious, Jessica, have you ever had any items stolen while on a trip?

- [Jessica] I have not.

- No!

- Wow!

- I tell you, my life is wrapped up in positive energy.

- Let's keep it that way.

- [Jessica] I mean, I... And I'm not recommending this for other people, but I don't even use hotel safes.

- [Angela] I don't use hotel safes either. I don't even bring anything that is super valuable -

- [Jessica] Oh, but passports are valuable.

- [Angela] Well yeah, your passport... I don't usually bring my passport with me -

- [Jessica] Okay, so I don't, because if you ever get robbed right, then you don't... So I think it's good to, I recommend to have a copy of your passport to take with you outside of the hotel. 'Cause I just, for me, I'm like, God forbid someone pickpocket me or rob me, and then I lost money and my passport and now, you know, you have to go to the US Embassy.

- [Angela] But if you need your ID for something, they're okay with you using, like-

- [Jessica] Oh, I use my license. Yeah.

- I didn't know if that was okay.

- [Jessica] Oh yeah, no, I use my license and if they ask me for my passport, I'm like, yeah, it's in my hotel so... But I also have a picture of my passport on my phone.

- [Angela] So do I.

- [Tonya] Yeah. And in your email, I also keep it in my email, so I can just access it and email.

- Yeah. For sure.

- [Tonya] That is awesome. And I think it is important to make inventory of the items that you do have of value, whether it's on your person, or in your suitcase, or in your hotel room. You just want to make sure you're notating. This is what I have. Cause I always travel with my laptop.

- Yeah. The laptop's important, but I try not to bring really expensive things, like bags and shoes and things and jewelry just because I don't know what's going to happen. So I'd rather not have that in my room or, you know, have that on me when I'm walking around. I'd rather just not even put myself in there.

- [Jessica] I think it makes you a target, too. If you're out here extravagantly.

- [Aminatou] I'm glad that you mentioned, like, having to deal with the US Embassy, because I think that that's, you know, it's a thing, it's, it's definitely a bureaucracy, but I think that if you're going overseas, especially if you're not a seasoned traveler, you should always know where your closest US Embassy is. There's also a service with the State Department, where you can register as an American abroad, and you just never know when there are going to be emergencies. And so you might need a new passport or somebody might need to get in touch with you, or you might be in the middle of civil unrest, so you should probably -

- They can help you with so many things, I used to live in Benin in West Africa, and someone stole my identity while I was living abroad. But like, in the US. And so I called the Embassy and they were able to help me with that. And then I had a medical issue and I was able to call the embassy and ask them, you know, which doctors do you recommend? So there's, beyond like passport services, there's other things that you can just get help for. Especially, like, Benin is a Francophone country, so my French is good, but not good enough to, like, speak to a doctor, so they can help you with those sorts of things as well.

- How do you decide, you know, like how much budgeting you're going to do when you're traveling? Like, how do you not overspend?

- She's like, \

- [Aminatou] She's like, don't ask me. But overspending is subjective, right? It's just to your own, you decide.

- [Jessica] I saved so much money on the flight search and, you know, on rewards with hotel websites and credit cards. So when I'm in a country, I pretty much do what I want to do. Like, I'm not into Michelin Star restaurants, thank God. So, like, I don't end up spending

- Yeah, exactly. So for me, that's not the expense, but like, for example, when I was in Nepal, I ended up spending like $300 on, like, a Himalaya sightseeing flight. It was like a one hour flight, but...

- [Aminatou] It's an experience.

- That's the beauty of being financially secure, is that you can invest in what matters to you.

- Can splurge a little. One more thing I want to say about passports, is sometimes, I realize this, when you travel out of the country, certain countries have different rules as to when your passport is about to expire. So it might be a certain amount of pages that you have to have in your passport, or...

- [Aminatou] You can look all that up on the State Department website.

- [Angela] Right? Good to know, because...

- [Tonya] Or the condition, like the condition of your passport, isn't like-

- What are you doing to your passport?

- No, I did try to travel a few years ago, with my ex-husband, that's why he's an ex, and his passport, he had accidentally put it in the washing machine. So it was tattered. Yes, it was in his back pocket. And we showed up and we missed our flight and had to reschedule our trip, because they would not let him board our flight with that passport.

- You see, now, if that was me, I would have been like, I'll see you there, when you take care of all of this. I don't want both of us to miss our flight.

- It's really important to have the six months of validity.

- And number of pages.

- And number of pages, which I'm, I just hit struggle mode on my Ugandan passport because I have one page left. And it's for my Syrian -

- You're not going anywhere.

- I know. I was in Ghana, I was like, \

- [Tonya] They put it on a new page...

- [Jessica] Right, exactly, I'm like, just please don't stamp on that page -

- Yeah, some places you need to have, your passport has to be good for like another year, or else they won't let you in.

- Yeah. So when you're booking, 'cause I had a friend who was coming to celebrate my birthday in Barbados and he realized the day we were flying that his passport expired that day and he could not travel. So definitely when you're booking your flight, check your passport, make sure that you have the needed amount of time.

- When's the last time I checked my passport expiration?

- Mine expires next year.

- We're going to meditate, and we can think about that.

- Are we doing our Money Meditation now?

- We are going to do our money meditation now. I'm really glad that you're here with us.

- Okay. I want more money.

- We're all gonna... Tonya, what do you say? We're breathing in, we're breathing in money, and we're exhaling money.

- Inhale money, exhale money.

- We're doing that. So, for today's money meditation, imagine your dream vacation. Money is no object. You can go wherever you want to go. Think about that bucket list goal that you really want to pull off. Besides money, what is stopping you from reaching that goal? So take a moment to think about how freeing it can be to enjoy a cheap getaway, without all of the extra stress of spending money. And can you remember back to a cheap trip you went on that wouldn't have been as fun or as memorable if you had spent more money.

- Okay.

- Do you want to start us off, Angela?

- No, 'cause I'm just thinking about a trip that I went on. And so one of my old bosses, he was invested into this hotel resort in Turks and Caicos. And it is the most amazing place I've ever stayed, right? But I didn't have to pay for the room or anything. And they had chefs that like cooked for us, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And you tell them what you want. They go to the supermarket, they buy it, you know, everything. It was amazing. Infinity pool, all of that. And I just remember that one night, and I didn't have a lot of money to spend myself, so I was really grateful that, like, they brought us on this trip. I brought one of my friends with me too. And it was a group of us. And we were like, one day, my friend and I were like, we're going to go to a local bar and you know, go hang out. And I think there was a fight on, we wanted to go watch a fight. So we go to the bar and we had a driver that came and got us. And then he was like, let's go here. And he was like taking us to all these different places, like, oh, this is where else we'd love to go. And then we got the bill and it was $600.

- And the driver...

- [Angela] Because we didn't know that he was charged. We just thought he was just like, all right, let's go here. Like he wants to go, and he was having a great time.

- [Tonya] Of course he was!

- [Aminatou] He was making $600!

- [Angela] And so we got the bill and we were like, but then I was like, okay, look, in all fairness, we didn't pay for anything, you know, on this trip. So we tipped really well for everything. But then we just kept laughing about the fact that we got got for that $600.

- [Tonya] He's like, I know where they're staying.

- [Jessica] Let me take them to the other end of this island.

- So, destination. I have so many places I want to go that I haven't gone. The two, like the next places I will go, well, three. Going to South Africa. I want to visit the Amalfi Coast, and like, that whole stretch of land or that area of the world. And then I have not been to Tokyo yet. So I really want to go to Tokyo.

- [Aminatou] I'm going to give you all my tips.

- You told me about... when I went to Hawaii and I lived it up in Hawaii. So those are my, those are the destinations I want to go to.

- That's perfect. What about you?

- My destination when I close my eyes and I was meditating, is Bora Bora.

- Oh!

- Yeah. And I think the thing holding me back is the lack of a man.

- That's real, that's real.

- Like, I've been to 85 countries solo and I'm fine with it, but I'm not going to Bora Bora without a man.

- There's a man that will find you and be like, \

- [Aminatou] Like, you've seen that. Cause I've looked at going to Bora Bora, and they're, you know, like even the beds, they're like, there's nothing for single people. They just, they just like -

- [Angela] So you have to go as -

- It isn't marketed as a, if you want to go on a honeymoon with me, let's talk about it.

- Okay, if I'm still single in two years.

- Let's talk about it.

- No, it's not a girls' trip. No.

- [Angela] Okay. Good to know.

- I'm not going.

- When I'm still single in two years, let's talk.

- Let's talk about it. I, you know, I feel really blessed because I've been, I have ticked my bucket list of everywhere I wanted to go to. And some of those places I've gone to multiple times. I think that when I was meditating on a place that was really an unexpected find, as I remember when I was living in New York a couple of years ago, and I was really broke. Like I had just moved to New York. The grind was really getting me down. I just, I couldn't afford anything. And I, somebody like, told me about going upstate. And I was like, well, everything above 14th Street is upstate, as far as I'm concerned. So I don't know about this. But I ended up going to Hudson and, like, camping on this farm. Like, I borrowed some camping gear, I didn't know what I was doing. And all I had to pay was like the price of the Metro north. And I had like a great four days. I went hiking, I, like, ended up in a creek, and it was literally just a couple hours away from New York. And I just, I remember in that moment, I felt very rich. Even though I had nothing, I just had nothing. And I was like, I got to escape where I live and I had a beautiful weekend and I can come back home.

- [Tonya] Beautiful, Amina.

- Well, of course, you know, we want to hear what you came up with. So let us know your response to this week's Money Meditation. All you have to do is post on social media and use our hashtag. I always tell you what it is, it's #LiveColorFull. That's LiveColorFull with two L's at the end of full. LiveColorFull.

- Thanks for joining us.

- Thank you for having me.

- Live Color Full and travel!

- Yes. And I will be following you on those next adventures. And I'm just going to go look at it all, like, stalk your Instagram.

- And I will follow you on social media and follow you on your adventures.

- And where can we find your work?

- You can find me all over the internet, @thecatchmeifyoucan.

Angela Yee: Welcome to an all new episode of Color Full Lives presented by State Farm. This season we're focusing on all the things we wish we knew before major life events. In this week's episode, we're going to dig into all the things you should know before having kids. Does anybody ever truly feel ready to have kids? Probably not. But there are definitely some steps you can take to help secure your family's future. And, they should also give you some more confidence while facing the unknown. Now Tonya is our resident money mama. A.K.A., she's the only one of us that has children. So she'll be taking the lead in this week's discussion.

Tonya Rapley: Oh yeah. I'm the only one who did that thing.

Aminatou Sow: Listen. Well, to kick it off, Tonya, small question. What are some of the biggest lessons you've learned since having a kid?

Angela Yee: We could talk for hours.

Tonya Rapley: How much time you got?

Aminatou Sow: The show is four hours.

Tonya Rapley: You know, no matter how, how much you think you've planned, there's always gonna be something that you didn't plan for when it comes to having children. I think that we were as prepared as most people could be to have Karris. But, there were just-- you know, I wrote, I tallied up how much I spent on Karris in the first three weeks of his life. It added up to like $4,000.

Angela Yee: Okay.

Aminatou Sow: Wow.

Tonya Rapley: Yeah. And I mean, that's because I'm an \

mom too, so I have to admit I'm extra. And there's some things that I probably didn't have to do that I chose to do. Or like some things-- We ended up-- so, we ended up buying an entirely new bed, set bedroom set and everything else, and getting rid of our old one because Karris did not like sleeping in his bassinet that he had. And, it was just so many things that I wasn't expecting. We brought in help at around the six-week mark. I thought I could've made it longer, but sleep deprivation is real.

Angela Yee: Right.

Tonya Rapley: And so I wanted support. And we just-- it was more expensive, that was one thing. It was more expensive than I realized it would have been. So I would advise someone to save even more than they think they need, because, yeah....

Angela Yee: What about before Karris came? What were some of those expenses as you were getting ready?

Tonya Rapley: Oh yeah! Okay. So, you know, as a black woman, we've heard that black women have a higher--the highest-- maternal mortality statistics, regardless of education, class, income level, et cetera. And so, for me it was really important to have a supported birth. So, I hired a midwife and I had my OB/GYN. And so we payed for our midwife out of pocket. That wasn't covered by our insurance, paid for it out of pocket. We took birthing classes. So we took 12-week birthing classes. Those weren't cheap. And then... There were just other things that we decided to do to prepare ourselves for his arrival, which I'm so happy I did, because, I ultimately, had the birth that I wanted. That's what led to me creating the nonprofit because I had the birthing experience I wanted. But there was one point when I was in delivery and [in] this is time called transition where your body is preparing, you're getting, feeded, fed all these endorphins and everything to help you with the pain of childbirth and so forth. And so it's this rush of hormones and your-- My body literally started shaking. I started shaking, my teeth started chattering.

Aminatou Sow: Wow.

Angela Yee: Oh my gosh.

Tonya Rapley: And I remember looking at my midwife. I'm like, 'Oh my God, am I dying? Is this happening?' Like, is this what happens when people die in childbirth? And she was like, 'No, you're absolutely fine. You're in transition.' But, her being able to reassure me, made me feel comfortable. And I think that that could have been a turning point between me being anxious and shutting down during childbirth, and me being like, 'okay, my body's doing what it needs to do, let's do this.' It allowed me to progress. So, that was one of the best investments, was investing in birth education and support.

Aminatou Sow: How did you decide, also, what you were going to do for maternity leave? Because you're your own boss?!

Angela Yee: Yes, that's right.

Tonya Rapley: Yeah. So last year I was--

Angela Yee: -- you gave yourself time off.--

Tonya Rapley: I did. I ended up taking-- So, last year I was flying around the country collecting all the bags.

All: [Laughter].

Tonya Rapley: I was flying around just really like--

Angela Yee: We saw you working.

Tonya Rapley: -- I was working. Like, Karris flies well now, I think because I flew so much then. But, just really saving money, paying off everything that we could pay off. Just really getting ahead of our finances and saving money. Estab- my team that was really important. -- Was getting my-- Me and my team worked together for about two months, to get them up to speed so that I could step back in the business, wouldn't just--

Aminatou Sow: --yeah.

Tonya Rapley: --you know, the bottom wouldn't fall out of my business.

Angela Yee: Right.

Tonya Rapley: So, I ended up going on maternity leave. So it's funny, I was looking at my emails afterwards. I went into labor on Thanksgiving Eve. And, I wasn't supposed to go into labor until the following week. And so I had a campaign that I was supposed to launch the day I went into labor.

Angela Yee: You were like, 'Wait until the wheels fall off.'

Tonya Rapley: And I responded. They were like, 'Do you think you can get the post up today?' And I was like, 'So, I'm in labor right now.' And they're like, 'Oh my gosh. We can wait.'.

Aminatou Sow: They're like, 'The post can absolutely wait.'.

Tonya Rapley: But yeah, literally worked up.-- We had a Black Friday sale for My Fab Finance. Literally worked up until the last minute. And then I ended up staying out. I stayed off the road until May, of the following year. And I took maternity leave from my business completely until March. So yeah, I just have so much more respect for women. I mean, I've always respected women. I am a woman. I've always loved, you know, being a woman, and having my friendships and valued them. But it just took it to a whole other level.

Tonya Rapley: And you realize like --

Angela Yee: Right- going through what you went through and knowing what it takes.

Tonya Rapley: And my mom-- Like my mom was like, 'you did that [???],' you know, like 'you did that.' So, it definitely transformed my business, my life, and my availability.And also my tolerance.

Angela Yee: Well, one thing I want to talk about also is, I love looking at kids' clothes, right? I have no babies, but I enjoy shopping for them. I have four godchildren. I have like 19 cousins, so I love looking at stuff for kids. So, let's talk about birthday gifts, holiday gifts, for your son and for other loved ones as well. How do you set limits and how do you set a budget for something like that?

Tonya Rapley: I mean, it's so easy to spend so much on children's clothes. Because compared to our clothes you're like 'what, $6.99?' You know, it seems like a drop in the bucket. And then you realize they can only wear it one time. But I think as far as setting limits, I'm not that good at setting limits.

All: [Laughter].

Tonya Rapley: I'm not going to lie.

Angela Yee: Let's keep it real!

Tonya Rapley: I'm not gonna lie. It's my first child.--

Aminatou Sow: --Tell us the truth. Tell us the truth--

Tonya Rapley: I became financially secure so I could do what I wanted. But no, we are--I am very intentional about not buying him, extravagant gifts and so forth. I want him to have more worth in his 529 plan and his savings. I want him to have more set aside in his bank account than he has in his nursery.

Angela Yee: Right.

Tonya Rapley: So, you know, and as far as my father, like when they asked me, you know, 'what can we buy him?' So and so and so. Like, Easter, they want to buy him an Easter basket. I was like, he doesn't even know what an egg is.

Angela Yee: Right. He's not going to remember this.

Tonya Rapley: He doesn't know. Put the money in his 529 plan. So I was really happy that by the time he was six months, he had $2,000 put aside in it. And we just put the money, you know, we just put money in there. I think that people have to do what makes sense for them. But you also have to realize these children are going to grow up. And I think you have to ask yourself-- a lot of people, you know-- did what your parents do for you work, or what do you wish they would've done differently? And for me, the thing I wish my parents would've done differently is saved towards my education and had something for me financially when I graduated from college. And so, that's what I'm working towards with Karris. Our limitations are what's within our budget and I think everybody should consider that. I just hate when I see children who have an amazing wardrobe, and they have all this designer stuff. Like what have you got? Do they own any stock?

Aminatou Sow: --Yeah.

Tonya Rapley: Do they have a bank account? Do they have money set aside in savings? What kind of assets have you purchased for this child? Because, these sneakers, they can't wear past the next two months is not an asset for them.

Aminatou Sow: I think it's good too, because I have so many cousins. I have so many, just, all of my friends are having children right now. And I think that also I have to remind myself all the time that there are ways that I can give to them, that don't have to be material.

Angela Yee: Yes. That's what just made me think about that, 'cause I love spoiling the kids with things that their parents would probably never buy them.

Tonya Rapley: Yeah.

Angela Yee: And I'm like, 'okay, I'm going to get this and that and this.'

Aminatou Sow: I'm the Hot Wheels auntie. I'm like, I will always,--

Tonya Rapley: --It's okay in moderation! There still a kid, y'know?

Aminatou Sow: Right! But, one of my friend's kids recently, who I really love, I was thinking about what I could give them because they also have a lot. And I was like, you don't need one more toy. And making a charitable contribution to a charity that they cared about in his name, that was something that, they ended up telling me was really touching to them. And I think that it also, it just teaches that you can give different things. And there are friends, kids who, I bought stock for them. Because I was like, I want financial literacy to be a part of your life, and this is a way that we can have this conversation later. It could be like, 'my Aunt So-and-So got me bonds,' or 'she got me the stock when I was young.' And then we just keep up with it. So I really appreciate that you talk about the 529 account because it's so important to save for the future.

Tonya Rapley: And I think we could give to parents too. You know, honestly--

Angela Yee: [Laughter] Hello?!

Tonya Rapley: Honestly.

Aminatou Sow: Make a plug for your mom registry. What do you need?

Tonya Rapley: So you guys on Karris' first birthday...

Angela Yee: -- You never used to say this until you had Karris--

Tonya Rapley: After his first birthday, you guys want to send me a birth-day gift? I will gladly receive it. But no, it really did make-- I realized what people go through adjusting to having a child. And one of the scariest moments of my life is when I took him home. Because I was like, 'Oh my gosh, I have to keep this human alive.'

Aminatou Sow: Aww.

Tonya Rapley: Like this is some-- I could go to jail if something happens to him. I have to keep him alive. It is my responsibility. And now I look at him when he has his first birthday, this is my birth-day. Like this is the day I became a mother. And so even when I have other friends and it's their child's first birthday, I'm like happy birth-day.--

Angela Yee: Right.

Tonya Rapley: --Because that was the day your life changed as well. And, I always give my parents a gift on my birthday. Just like, 'thank you. Thank you for making my life possible. Thank you for everything you've done.' And I just hope Karris one day gives me birthday--

Angela Yee: He will definitely be giving you some presents.

Aminatou Sow: He'll hear this and he'll definitely do it for you.

Tonya Rapley: Hopefully you're watching this. This episode is dedicated to you.

Aminatou Sow: I also think that in that same vein, I have a lot of friends who have adopted kids and I also noticed that people do not celebrate the adoptive parents.

Tonya Rapley: That's a big deal!

Aminatou Sow: I think that just remembering that families come in every size,--.

Tonya Rapley: Yes.

Aminatou Sow: -- shape, everything.

Tonya Rapley: This is the day you became a parent.

Aminatou Sow: It's so important to like celebrate that.

Tonya Rapley: And I think, I don't know. Um, is there anything that your parents did for you guys financially that it makes you say, 'you know what, this is something I like to continue.'.

Angela Yee: No, no, no.

All: [Laughter].

Aminatou Sow: I think that with my parents, I remember, a lot, that my dad used to talk about how much money he made. And he would tell us about the bills that we had, as children. He never did it in a way to shame us. But I just remember being like, 'Oh yeah,-- my father like supports us and he does it in this way,' because he would always explain our financial situation to us. And I think that, when you're a kid, sometimes it's really tough, you know, because we're like, 'I want this' or 'I want that.' And he would say, 'well, you know, one of the reasons our vacation is smaller this year is because we're trying to plan for X, Y, Z.' And I think that as I got older, I really appreciated that a lot. I was like, I don't think most of my friends know how much money their parents made when they were kids.

Angela Yee: Right, I definitely didn't know.

Aminatou Sow: I was like, I knew that. I was like very, very aware of it. And I just really appreciated that it was done in a way that it gives me a scope of how much life costs and it wasn't like a,-- they didn't use it as a tool to make you feel bad. So I think that was really good. And also my dad was really big about saving. I had a piggy bank as soon as I could hold one.

Tonya Rapley: Yeah.

Aminatou Sow: And we also, like, we grew up like very not comfortable when I was young and I remember having to, you know, sometimes like, we got to take money out of the piggy bank to pay for our own things or for new things, or for doing things. And I just think that the younger you are, the more you understand what money is and what it can and cannot do, it will save you a lot of pain down the road.

Tonya Rapley: And I think that's the biggest thing I preach, is that money isn't everything, but it gives you options.

Aminatou Sow: Yeah.

Tonya Rapley: And whether that is as an adult when you graduate from college, or as a parent, or as someone who is expecting to grow your family, it gives you the option of what you want that experience to look like. And, I think financial security, yes, we want to, you know, \

because it helps enhance; it enhances the quality of our life, but it really does allow you to live life on your terms. And really, you know, I remember at one point my doctor -- my insurance wasn't going to cover a certain test. And he's like, 'do, you still want to do it? And you know, I was like, 'yeah, we'll pay for it out of pocket.' But for someone else, that might've been like, 'well, we can't afford it'.

Angela Yee: Right.

Tonya Rapley: So it gives you the option to experience life in these transitional experiences on your terms, but it gives our children options to experience, you know, graduation. Or maybe there's a school they want to go to. Or maybe they want to take a gap year, and there's a scholarship that they won't be able to receive because they have to go to school immediately, or something of that nature. But, it gives them the option to live life on their terms too. And I think that's a gift.

Angela Yee: I just remember my parents arguing about money all the time, but not really discussing it. Like, they were arguing about bills. And I know for sure my dad was making more money than my mom. And he would make her feel bad about it. And they would just be arguing about what bills weren't getting paid, who was using the credit card, and 'why is this credit card bill so high?' And then my mom hiding things that she was buying,--

Tonya Rapley: --mm hmm--

Angela Yee: --She would leave everything in the trunk. And then when my dad went to sleep or something, she would--

Tonya Rapley: --bring them in?--

Angela Yee: --Sneak the bags in the house.

Tonya Rapley: Like he's not going to see the bill.

Angela Yee: Right.

Tonya Rapley: Like, okay mom.

Angela Yee: So, it was just things like that. But we never had conversations about money ever. And I wish we would have, because, it would've helped me when I went to college and when I started making my own little bit of money.

Tonya Rapley: Do you have conversations with them now, about money?

Angela Yee: I actually told my mom, 'let's get your credit together.' And she was so embarrassed to send me her credit,-- like all her information so I can pull her credit score. So, I pulled it, so I could see what was on it that was negative, See what her score was, see how much she owed. And she did not want to. It took me like, months, for me to get it from her so that I could talk to her.

Aminatou Sow: It's hard. It's hard to talk about.

Tonya Rapley: Yeah.

Angela Yee: She would not give me her information.

Tonya Rapley: Yeah. You know, I think our parents, they were-- Growing up, your parents are your heroes, you know, and they,-- You start to look at them as adults, and you look at their mistakes. And you then start to wonder like, wow, they're not as awesome as I thought they were, in all facets of life. They're human. Just like me. They're figuring it out. Just like, I am now.

Aminatou Sow: Your parents were young once. That's something you need to know--

Tonya Rapley: Your parents were young once. They made mistakes and I think it's important to-- we should talk to our own, um, or even elders, you know, whether it's an aunt, uncle, grandparent, whoever, in our life, just to let them know it's okay. It's okay.

Angela Yee: I took my mom on vacation, right, for a week, and she wanted us to share a room. And I was like, 'Mom, we really don't need to share room.' She's like, 'No, but it's expensive. Why would we get two rooms.' I'm like, 'mom, trust me. I can afford to get two rooms because I need to have my sanity on this trip.'

Tonya Rapley: I want to enjoy this trip with you.--

Angela Yee: I want to like you.

Tonya Rapley: I need a break.

Aminatou Sow: Like, 'young lady, you need your own room.'.

Angela Yee: So we definitely did that, but I do wish, like you said, as far as putting aside some money for college, that would have been something that happened to me when I was younger. Now, is there a best time to start saving for college? And, what if you yourself are still hoping to go back to school? My mom had us, and she actually really wanted to go to college. And she didn't go to college. She lets us know this because-- my dad went to college, but my mom didn't end up going to college. And that's something that she still regrets to this day.

Aminatou Sow: Mmm.

Tonya Rapley: Yeah. That can be challenging. Like, if I'm saving, am I saving for my child's college or am I going to college myself to get a better opportunity, or to grow. You know-- just improve my income earning potential. And I think that one of the good things is as a single parent, not a single parent, but as a parent or as a mother, sometimes you do have scholarships available to you. So don't count yourself out. And look and see what financial assistance is out there, available specifically for mothers or people who have children or who are returning to school, who are nontraditional students. But, I think that compounding interest, the beauty of that, is that your money can continue to work for you, continue to work for you, and maybe you can't contribute regularly, but maybe you do receive, you know, when you get your tax return or you receive a large sum of money, put that aside. So, if it's not a regular contribution, it's something. And you put something aside that you can't touch, that's going to go towards your child's future. And, maybe it can't cover their entire tuition, but maybe it purchases their books or--

Angela Yee: --Anything helps--

Tonya Rapley: --Their meal plan, or something of that nature because college is expensive, and--

Angela Yee: Yes.

Aminatou Sow: Also, who knows what it's gonna look like in 20 years, right?

Tonya Rapley: Education. Yeah. I mean there's a lot of pushback on what education looks like.

Aminatou Sow: Yeah.

Tonya Rapley: And um, what. But I think, I think we'll see, um, an evolving perspective of what it looks like to be successful and the roads to success. I think we're going to see a big, switch-up of that as other generations graduate. And I'm happy that we're at this point where there's so many people I know in my own life who are very successful and didn't go to college.

Angela Yee: Right.

Aminatou Sow: Wow.

Tonya Rapley: And it gives, I think it gives other people hope and gives them options if they can't afford college or if their parents didn't put money aside for them, that debt is not the only way for them to be successful.

Angela Yee: I do think that there are some lines of work where college is necessary, obviously, like to go to--

Tonya Rapley: I need my doctor to go to college.

Angela Yee: Right.

Tonya Rapley: I needed a doctor to do that.

Angela Yee: Need you to go to school.

Tonya Rapley: Need you to do that.

Angela Yee: There's definitely some things that require that, but then of course there's other jobs that you don't have to go to college for. And then I think some people, if you have the opportunity to go, it's a good experience.

Tonya Rapley: It is.

Angela Yee: And I know, I appreciate the fact that I went to college even though I paid for it for like 12 years after. I wouldn't -not- do it.

Aminatou Sow: Yeah, but you also don't have to go to debt to go. You don't have to go into debt to go to college, right? I think that for a lot of people, looking at options that are cheaper and more affordable to you are, it doesn't mean that it's a lesser choice, right.

Angela Yee: Like community college,--

Aminatou Sow: Community college is a really, really, really important jumping off point for a lot of people.

Tonya Rapley: It is.

Aminatou Sow: And also, especially like if you don't know what you want to, but you know that, that's maybe a track you want to be on, go to community college. And I would say that to somebody who wants to return to school, also. You can go to your local college, you can call up your local university and say, 'hi, I'm a continuing education student. What are my options? What's available?' I think that not counting yourself out for financial reasons is really important. And also looking at all the options that you have. You don't have to pay $100,000 to get any kind of education.

Tonya Rapley: Right. Yeah.

Angela Yee: State Colleges. And even, sometimes at your job.

Tonya Rapley: Yeah.

Angela Yee: They'll pay for you to continue your education. Yeah.

Tonya Rapley: That's big.

Aminatou Sow: Right, and you can, like, you know. And also not, um, -- College is not the only form of education that you can have. Like you can be self-taught, you can go to the library and see if there are programs that you can do, you know, like--

Angela Yee: --there's online degrees you can get also that are a lot less expensive.

Tonya Rapley: I think that's the biggest lesson that I want to impart on Karris. Education doesn't stop in the classroom. Like, it might start. And actually, I think education starts at home, to be honest.

Angela Yee: --Oh, definitely--

Tonya Rapley: But I don't think that it ends in the classroom and it's not limited to the classroom. And so, regardless of your setting, always be looking for opportunities to learn. And so while we're putting money aside for his future, my goal is that, he can utilize that money to start a business. Or he can utilize that money to purchase his first property or something of that nature because he's figured out what education looks like for him, and he's able to use the money towards something else. And we do want another one.

Angela Yee: --Get it!--

Tonya Rapley: So it was like, what do we do with the next one?

Aminatou Sow: Well, you're a little more prepared. You already have some of the stuff.

Tonya Rapley: Yeah, now we have to divvy all these resources to another child, possibly.

Angela Yee: I think that's great to do it back to back.

Tonya Rapley: I know, I know. --You know, that's really annoying. I have to say this, when you see a person who just had a baby, don't ask them when the next one is coming, because...

Angela Yee + Aminatou Sow: [Laughter]

Tonya Rapley: I promise. I was like suffering from PTSD. As beautiful as my birth was, I was traumatized for like the first two weeks. I was like, 'Oh my gosh.' I just went into battle with my body. Just let people settle in.

Angela Yee: My mom was like, 'childbirth was the most excruciating, painful experience in my life.'

Tonya Rapley: It's nothing like it. And there's nothing anyone can do. And you know, we spent all this money on classes. We had a great birth team, but there's nothing anyone can prepare you for for that experience.--

Aminatou Sow: Yeah.

Tonya Rapley: --because I mean, you know I'm sure like other experiences that you two went through in your life. There's like certain things, nothing anybody tells you, no book that you read can prepare you for what it was like.

Aminatou Sow: You have to go through it.

Tonya Rapley: But you've got to do it.

Aminatou Sow: It's also just giving people the option to decide what they want for themselves. Right? And so it's not about like scaring them about having a family or not. It's just, what's the most prepared that you can be for a thing that you can never prepare for? Good luck.

Tonya Rapley: Right, exactly. Like just do what you can. Do what you can.

Angela Yee: We're talking a lot about having a baby in this week's episode and we hope that sharing our perspective helps, but this podcast isn't the only resource. There are nearly 19,000 State Farm agents all over the U.S. who are waiting to help protect what's important to you and guide you through major life milestones. For this week's Ask an Agent segment, we reached out to Zanetta Harris Glover, who has an office in Newark, New Jersey, to get some practical advice before having kids.

ZHG: Hey ladies. This week I want to focus on all you awesome working moms out there. I know it's not always easy, but you still make it happen and power through. So, How do you focus on something like saving for college tomorrow when you're worried about paying for childcare today? Did you know that more than 11 million U.S. children under the age of five are in childcare? If your child is one of them, the cost is likely a significant line item in your budget. However, when your child begins elementary school and no longer requires full-time care, you'll see a significant increase in your discretionary income each month. But, before you convert those childcare dollars into disposable income, consider saving those funds for your child's college education. After all, you're already accustomed to living without the income. If you'd like to save more towards your child's education, consider an education savings plan for qualified higher education expenses. And for birthdays and other special occasions, have the grandparents contribute money towards college. Your child will eventually outgrow toys, but a quality education lasts a lifetime. You might also want to review your life insurance needs and consider a State Farm life insurance policy to help ensure your child could still afford to go to college if you were to die prematurely. For more tips and insight on saving for your child's education, talk to your local State Farm agent and visit us at statefarm.com.

Angela Yee: For the second half of today's show, we're joined by Yahya Smith. Hey Yahya.

Aminatou Sow: Hi.

Yahya Smith: Hey!

Angela Yee: She is the founder of the Feminine Success School, where she provides coaching to help women flourish in all facets of their life. Well, thank you for joining the show, of course, Yahya.

Yahya Smith: You're welcome.

Angela Yee: Now, to start us off, let us know what a Feminine Success Coach actually does.

Yahya Smith: So as a Feminine Success Coach, I really help women stop choosing \

and say \

So, if you want a marriage or relationship and a career, why choose? You can have both and you can make them work well together.

Tonya Rapley: I love that. I love that. So, with four kids and a busy career, do you believe in work/life balance, or like how do you make it all work?

Yahya Smith: I believe in work/life harmony.

Tonya Rapley: Ooh...

Yahya Smith: I don't believe in work/life balance because I can't give the same amount to everything all the time.

Tonya Rapley: ..mmm yeah...

Yahya Smith: But I do believe in harmonizing things. So I have a crib in my office so that I can watch my baby sleep while I'm working with my clients. So yeah.

Tonya Rapley: Work/life harmony.

Yahya Smith: Yes.

Angela Yee: And then, I know there has to be some costs associated with that, right? You have the crib in the office, and then you also have to have the nursery. Everything has to be soothing and comfortable, because of course you want your baby to have that quality of life.

Yahya Smith: Of course.

Angela Yee: As an infant, also. And, so, what are the costs associated with that?

Yahya Smith: Whew! Children in general cost. Children definitely cost. However, we try to keep the costs to a minimum. We try to keep our children engaged with life, and you know, nature and outside. So we definitely invest in their education. We invest in our littlest baby. Just making sure that she has everything that she needs. Insurance of course is a cost. 529 plans, which I learned about through Tonya. That's a cost, but I don't look at it as a cost as much as I look at it as an investment in my kids.

Tonya Rapley: Yeah, definitely. And you have three boys and one girl. She's going to have, you know, big brothers to look up to and so forth--

Angela Yee: --oh, she's the youngest?

Yahya Smith: Yes.

Tonya Rapley: Yeah. Her baby is the girl. She's like, it's going to be a tough road, for some people because she has her own team and her own tribe. That's beautiful, too.

Aminatou Sow: Well, thinking about costs, how do you make decisions about being very conscious about the things that you buy? Do you read the labels on everything? Does it matter to you where the kids' toys are made or the clothes that they wear? That kind of stuff?

Angela Yee: Or the food that they eat too?

Yahya Smith: I am definitely the mom that is taking up room on the grocery aisle. Reading all the boxes, reading all the labels.

Angela Yee: -- You have to --

Yahya Smith: --making sure we have lots of wooden toys in our home. So, making sure that they're not using things that could potentially be toxic in the future.

Aminatou Sow: Right, like no lead paint.

Yahya Smith: Lead paints and things like that. We're very conscious about where we're buying toys from. I love handmade things and things from, you know, people who are thinking about what they're putting into their products. But we also grow food.

Tonya Rapley: Oh, beautiful!

Yahya Smith: So, a lot of the things that, we could complain about we just say, 'how can we fix it? How can we make revolutionary choices?'

Tonya Rapley: So y'all are doing farm to table?

Yahya Smith: Mmhmm.

Tonya Rapley: Like y'all are farm to table at home.

Angela Yee: And so, do the boys know how to actually farm?

Yahya Smith: Yes.

Angela Yee: ...so far?

Yahya Smith: Yes. They love, they love to grow food. We have a backyard garden. And we also have a community garden in the Lower Ninth Ward in new Orleans that we run.

Tonya Rapley: I love it. And I think that that's so important because I think that, especially our generation, we're disconnected from where our food comes from. I remember when I was working here in Brooklyn, we would take people to a farm in Upstate New York and so many people had not seen food growing off the ground. It was crazy how many people were just like, 'that's what corn looks like growing?' or 'that's what a cucumber looks like on the stem?' And it's, we're so detached and I think that's a life skill. So that's amazing.

Yahya Smith: Yes, definitely. We get people-- we have wild mulberry trees around our garden and folks will drive past like, are y'all supposed to be eating that?

All: [Laughter]

Yahya Smith: And we're like, 'yes! It's a fruit and it's growing. It's food right in your neighborhood.

Angela Yee: And there's nothing like it, too. My grandfather, you know, my grandparents are from the West Indies, and he definitely had the sugar cane growing in the backyard and the mangoes falling off the trees. And even at our house in Brooklyn, he would grow his own little mint leaves to make tea with and things like that. And it's nice to see where everything comes from. And it's nothing more fresh.

Yahya Smith: Yes.

Tonya Rapley: And I think that this kind of goes in line with -- you all have decided to homeschool your children, which I think is amazing. I actually kind of touched on that, that our goal is the homeschool Karris. So, for parents who are thinking about homeschooling, what does that look like to set it up? Were there any initial costs associated. And what advice would you give to a parent? 'Cause I think I want to homeschool.

Yahya Smith: We were super young starting out as a family, and we've homeschooled the whole way through. So, at first I was really looking at ways to set up a classroom.--At that time it was preschool.-- Set up a classroom in our home without spending as much. And we got to know a lot in that time. So, we were definitely in the dollar stores, and in the big box stores, really looking for those little things. But, advice that I would give is to be flexible for sure. Because when we're in traditional schools, we kind of are used to that one curriculum. But as you learn your child, you realize that each child has different learning styles, and as they grow, their learning style can change. And maybe for Math, they learn one way, and then Social Studies they learn another way. Also with, you know, young children, especially in making sure that you're hands-on, with the way that you're teaching, allowing them to get outside in nature, allowing them to be in gardens, and get outside and play and get dirty like we used to do as kids.

Tonya Rapley: Yeah.

Yahya Smith: My children now are obsessed with chess, so they're calling me on the phone like, mom, did you find us a new chess set while you're traveling? But, they're obsessed with chess. And I think that homeschool really gives them the opportunity to stretch and grow and figure out what they really like. And we're able to give them access to those things.

Angela Yee: So you do the teaching?

YYahya SmithS: Yes, me and my husband.

Angela Yee: Okay. That's amazing. You said you don't want to do that.

Tonya Rapley: No, I dont-- mm mm. I mean, if I had to step in, I will.

Aminatou Sow: [Laughs]--'If i have to step in'--

Tonya Rapley: If I have to step in... But yeah, my goal is maybe like a homeschool community. But also your children, there's four of them. Well, there's three who are being homeschooled, so they kind of have their own classroom right there. I think my fear is just Karris being the only person in his classroom with me. And him not really learning how to deal with other personalities and so forth. I think it's more of a social thing than capacity. But, Amina, you were homeschooled, right?

Aminatou Sow: I was homeschooled for a little bit and I actually really enjoyed it. The years that I was homeschooled, mostly middle school. But you know, I think it worked well with my personality. I still think that you should probably let your children choose how they want to be socially around other people, because I think that at different ages that means different things. And you know, I was homeschooled, but I was also in a community where a lot of other kids were homeschooled. So I meant that I was never alone. And it wasn't just like me and my siblings clawing at each other every day. But I think the thing that my parents did very well was that when, if they were like, okay, this is hard and we don't understand it and we can't do that, it's okay to bring in outside help. And so I think that never limiting education for any kind of purposes is important. And also, some kids' personalities, they too, they will thrive in other kinds of environments. So I think it's just important to check in.

Tonya Rapley: And one thing I am big on, social, is talking about how schooling doesn't end outside of the classroom and that, even as a parent, as you mentioned, you visit big box stores and so forth and find different learning materials. I think that it costs, you know, it's so affordable. I was in one store, you know, they had a dollar section, and they had these little flashcards and everything. And I think that, as a parent you can still teach your child things at home.

Angela Yee: --you should--

Tonya Rapley: You can still work with them, and round out whatever education they're receiving from whatever you decide or whatever method you decided to educate them. And it's not expensive.

Yahya Smith: Absolutely. We've, we are totally community-based. New Orleans is just a very close knit community. So we have music teachers. We have language teachers, we have math teachers, really. Others who come in and support us. But we're their primary teachers.

Tonya Rapley: I love that. I love that you have support.

Angela Yee: Now another question to switch gears a little bit is life insurance and life insurance policies. I just got life insurance last year, and I never had it before because I don't have children. And people used to tell me, well, if you don't have kids, you don't really need life insurance. But, found out that's not really true. And can't just listen to word of mouth and what people are telling you.

Aminatou Sow: --absolutely not!--

Angela Yee: --So let's talk about life insurance policies and why they're important.

YS: Oh, for sure. Life insurance is important for us because you just never know what's going to happen. I travel a lot. I fly a lot. My husband does as well. And, making sure that our children are covered. And, when you are an entrepreneur or self-employed and you're building a business, for me, I want to make sure that if I leave, if that income is at all affected, that my children are well cared for. And that, you know, even if my husband is gone that I don't have that worry and that fear. Yeah.

Angela Yee: Yeah. One of my friends was telling me her mom has life insurance. And not only does she have life insurance, but she already has paid for her own funeral, and has everything planned out. Like, so that--

Tonya Rapley: --that's so responsible--

Angela Yee: Right. So, that if something happens, and you know, we should all hope to-- our parents want us to outlive them. But if something should happen, then at least while you're in the middle of grieving, you don't also have to worry about finances and planning a funeral.

Yahya Smith: Yes. My mother in law is that way.

Aminatou Sow: Really?

Yahya Smith: She has herself planned out, paid. Everything is paid. Her husband, everything is paid. And that's her mindset, is that my husband's an only child. So, if anything were to happen to them or when, because they're older, when something happens, she wants him to have as little to worry about as possible.

Angela Yee: And children get life insurance policies too, right?

Tonya Rapley: Yeah.

Yahya Smith: Yes, our children are riders.

Tonya Rapley: Oh wonderful. Wonderful. Yeah. 'Cause I do know that, some people decide to take a life insurance policy out on their child. I know that's something my mom talked to me about when Karris was born, getting a life insurance policy on him and et cetera. And I think we have to change that frame of mind that, because you're taking a life insurance policy out on somebody that you're going to do something harmful to them to cash it on the policy.

Yahya Smith: Right.

Tonya Rapley: Yes, it happens. But you need to stop watching those television shows.

Angela Yee: [Laughter].

Tonya Rapley: You know, sometimes it is, just solid financial planning. Is, it's really preparing for the future because things are going to happen.

Aminatou Sow: And also bad things happen all the time, right? It's like that's, that's the entire business model of insurance, and it's a reason that insurance is, it's the backbone of our financial system, because emergencies happen. And you know, we've all experienced loss and grief and I think that the more you can make it easy for people in their grieving process, the easier it is just down the road for everyone. So, good planning is always a good idea.

Tonya Rapley: Because I have to say, even when you think about health insurance, you know, you didn't think, 'Oh my parents are going to get me sick because they got health insurance.'

Angela Yee: Right? Like, you better use this insurance.

Tonya Rapley: Yeah, or, 'I'm going to get in a car accident because I got auto insurance.' No.

Yahya Smith: Right.

Tonya Rapley: It's because you're protecting yourself.

Aminatou Sow: And protecting other people.

Tonya Rapley: But I think that, I think death makes people a little more, um-- it's just something that people don't necessarily like to talk about.

Angela Yee: Yeah. But you have to.

Tonya Rapley: Yeah.

Angela Yee: You have to plan for that. 'Cause it's something that's inevitable for everyone.

Tonya Rapley: Yeah. We're all born.

Yahya Smith: Yes. And we all die. What's really interesting, though, is it's also a wealth builder. So my mother-in-law, she has several policies on my husband. And when we wanted to start a business, she cashed one of those in and gave us the money.

Tonya Rapley: Ooh, wow.

Yahya Smith: So, yeah.

Tonya Rapley: Mother-in-- You have a good mother-in-law.

Yahya Smith: She's smart.

Tonya Rapley: She sees all the corners, all the--

Yahya Smith: She's a smart lady.

Tonya Rapley: --And that's beautiful, that she said, 'okay, use this to start a business.' I think-- I do think that for people who don't have the financial means to do things such as contributing to a 529 regularly or putting money aside for their children when they're younger, maybe there is an opportunity for you to say, you know what, I'm going to do this for you so that you have this asset available to you in the event of something, or you can cash in on it. Now that I'm financially able to do this.

Yahya Smith: Right.

Tonya Rapley: So kudos to her. I think we should.-- More people should aspire to be like your mother-in-law.

Yahya Smith: --In some ways.--

Angela Yee: Do you already have a college fund set up for all four of them?

Yahya Smith: So the 529 is my thoughts around the college fund, because they can use it how they want. So when they get to that age, if they want to go to college. My oldest wants to be an engineer, so of course he's going to go to college. But my middle son wants to be a chef, so he can use it for culinary school. My four year old wants to be a warrior, so I'm not sure what he's gonna use it for.

All: [Laughter].

Angela Yee: Not sure what he's gonna use it for!

Aminatou Sow: You gotta get a PhD for that, for sure!

Tonya Rapley: That's so adorable. 'What do you want to be?' 'A warrior.'.

Yahya Smith: He wants to be a warrior.

Tonya Rapley: --Okay!

Aminatou Sow: --I love that.

Tonya Rapley: He can be a justice warrior. He could be an attorney.

Yahya Smith: He could be.

Tonya Rapley: There's so many different types of warriors he could be.

Yahya Smith: Right.

Tonya Rapley: That's so adorable though.

Aminatou Sow: Well, you know, we're going to go into today's Money Meditation.

Angela Yee: Okay.

Aminatou Sow: And all of this talk of children, I feel is, you know,-- let's take a trip down memory lane, everybody. We like to center ourselves when we do the meditation. But, for today, think back to growing up, when you first started collecting allowance or saving up money you received as a gift. When did you realize the value of a dollar? What are some of the most valuable lessons about money that you've learned? .....And, if you can recall a specific piece of advice that helped you think about finances in a new way.... And so, I think now it'd be good for all of us to talk about and meditate on, how do you plan to pass that knowledge on?

Yahya Smith: Yeah, these are so good.

Tonya Rapley: I think that as far as what I want to pass on to Karris, what I've learned. Being an entrepreneur has taught me that it's not necessarily how hard you work it's how smart you work. And so, I want to encourage Karris to be a smart worker. I think smart work is hard work for some people. But we all know someone who works hard, but it's still financially insecure.

Angela Yee: Right.

Tonya Rapley: And so I want him to be a smart worker, so that he maximizes his abilities and the income he has available to him. Um, yeah. So that's what I want to pass on.

Angela Yee: Well, I never got an allowance. Is that crazy? So, I think the value of money was different for me. The only time I got money was my birthday or Chinese New Year when we got the red envelopes with money. And I always looked forward to that, and I would put all the money together and put it in the right order and then try to save it up, you know? And, I think that, I wish I would have been better with money from a younger age. Like I didn't open up a bank account probably until I was like 16 years old and did all of that. So I haven't always had the best relationship with money or the best experiences. And so what I would like to do, um, to pass on to the next generation is definitely make sure that you have a bank account. Make sure that you start saving. I wish I would've started my IRA sooner. But I've always done things like invest in the 401k, because I know that that's money that gets matched at whatever corporation I work at. But there were just so many things that I didn't know about that I wish I would've known about earlier. Like, even right now, I'm still learning how to invest in the stock market, which I have been doing. But I do feel like I'm a late bloomer, but I'm going really hard now.

Aminatou Sow: Yeah. You know, it's funny, this really made me think about how I just realized that everything I think about money actually comes from this memory. I grew up Muslim and after, for all of our big holidays, like after Ramadan or after Hajj, a lot of the kids get money. That's the present that you get. And I remember always getting less money than my brother because he was a boy, even though I was older. And you know, 'cause it's like African families, boys are important. And my dad never did that. My dad was very fair about how he gave all of his children money. But I always noticed that other people would do that. It's like my brother is younger but he always got the most money.

Tonya Rapley: That's interesting.

Aminatou Sow: And I always saved everything I had. But I think that that's really-- I was really aware that there was a gap. I was like, 'Oh, I'm being treated differently for some way, shape or form.' And it really, um-- that's something, that's a cycle that I want to break a lot in the next generation of my family. I'm like, well, you know, work is work and everybody who works should get paid fairly. And also I just think a lot about like saving up that money. There was nothing I wanted to buy, so I used to just hoard money. And we didn't have a lot of money and one time, like my mom needed money. We actually needed money to pay bills and do all these things. And it made me so happy that I could give that money to her. Even though, you know, it's definitely when you grow out of being a child, you're like, okay, like this is the financial reality of my family. But, I think that that taught me a lot about saving for emergencies and making sure that you could be a self sufficient person, especially if you are not a man. And also that you can live a life where you can support yourself. Like you don't have to rely on other people to help you all the time. So that's what I really hope to pass on to the next generation in my family.

Yahya Smith: I think for me, my parents came into a lot of money when I was really young. And so I didn't grow up with this value for money because it was like that new money thing where they would just spend, spend, spend. And I thought that that was the way that it was supposed to be. But as I grew up, I realized that while money doesn't have to be hard to get, it's important to build up the relationships around you. Because of course if you're spending like water, you're gonna lose it. And eventually they did, but they didn't have the great relationships that they needed to get back to where they were. And so, what I really want to pass on to my children is not necessarily the \

mindset, but to secure their legacy. To secure their relationships, to secure the people around them. So that whether they're up or they're down, they're able to sustain, and they're able to grow and grow people as well.

Tonya Rapley: I think that's important. These are all so different, but they're all valuable lessons.

Angela Yee: We all learned different lessons.

Aminatou Sow: Yeah.

Angela Yee: From a young age about money. Well, of course we want to hear what you came up with. So let us know your response to this week's Money Meditation. All you have to do is post on social media with that hashtag #LiveColorFull. That's Live Color Full, F-U-L-L, two L's at the end of full. So Live Color Full, and, we'll check it out.

Tonya Rapley: Yeah. And that's it for this week. Make sure you check back next week for our final episode of the season, guys.

Aminatou Sow: Wow.

Angela Yee: Yes, I'm excited.

Tonya Rapley: We'll be going over the things we wish we knew before starting a business.

Angela Yee: Woo!

Tonya Rapley: So tune in next Wednesday on YouTube, SoundCloud, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts. Plus, don't forget, you can see every episode of Color Full Lives on State Farm's YouTube channel.

Angela Yee: Yes. Thank you, Yahya.

Yahya Smith: Thank you.

Aminatou Sow: Thank you for joining us.

Yahya Smith: Thank y'all.

Establishing A Financial Legacy

Victoria Anderson: Financial wellness means to me being able to identify what you need and want to live a life that's comfortable for you and your family. In addition to that, finding out what it'll take for you to have that type of future and leave the type of legacy that you'd like to leave to the people that are important to you.

Aminatou Sow: Yeah and I agree with that, I think that for me it's really about having a healthy approach to how, both how I use money, how I make money, and how I talk about money. Because I want to think about money as a tool as oppose to bondage really.

Ayana Iman: It's energy. It comes, it goes, and understanding when like you have it; how do I invest it? How to make it work for you? How to celebrate the relationship and be able to share that with your family? For me, specifically with my daughter, and having her understand like you know "money isn't evil,"it's something that we have, you know. It comes and it goes out but, "How do you want to use it?""How do you want to leave that legacy?"Whatever I save, I want to save for her to do whatever she wants to do. I'd like to have a nest egg there. Have I started? No. I had my daughter very young and so, there are still things that I feel like I'm learning in life that I'm building and growing. But everything I learn, I teach to her. I always tell people that we're growing up together. So, I'm always like okay, "I just learned how to save this, so you're going to learn too."

Victoria Anderson: I love the idea of starting with her so young to say, "How can we create wealth for you and how can I educate you on how to be financially literate and savvy along the way?"And I think that's one of the hardest things in our community, sometimes, is that lack of education, and so it's not as daunting as it seems, but if you don't know the key steps to take, sometimes you miss great opportunities to build wealth and create legacy for not only yourself, but for generations.

Aminatou Sow: I think a lot about all of the ways I have fell to very behind in finances. Everything has felt like a catchup. I know that I was very guilty of this when I started out in my career, feeling like I wasn't making enough money. So, savings was something that I didn't have to think about. No matter how much money you make, even if it's just a dollar, you should save, at the end of the year, you will have twelve dollars that you never had, and that's more than what you started out with.

Victoria Anderson: Every little bit counts. There's no such thing as "too small"to be put towards something that's important to me. So, I think getting past this idea that you have to have a large sum of money to even begin the process is probably step one, and then set it and forget it, right? So, if you never see it, how much are you really going to miss it.

Ayana Iman: I do know a lot of emotional spenders. A lot of them exist within my family, and I think you take in those traits, and I think I've had to put it in perspective like, "What can I do for myself that extends to my daughter, and what boundaries do I have to place in order to get to where I wanna be?"

Aminatou Sow: When I do my budget now, I layout like five things like, "these are my core values when it comes around money,"and every dollar that I have has to go towards those things.

Victoria Anderson: I love that.

Aminatou Sow: And so that helps a lot with like emotional spending. But the thing about talking about all of those, every time I've been open with my friends about it, everybody was doing dumb money things. It's okay, like you can fix it.

Think Small, Win Big

Teresha McMillan: So what I took for financial wellness, which is basically comfortable. Umm stability. Be able to balance my financial situation, have a control over that, and I think that's where financial wellness is, having control over it and making it work for you, and you not work for it. I wound up getting mentors.

Angela Yee: Oh good!

Teresha McMillan: So I got two of them (applause). Thank you, thank you…

Angela Yee: So important.

Teresha McMillan: One of them that is in a business now and one of them that is not in the business that had a salon. So, I get from her what not to do and I get from the other one what to do. You know everybody had that step of feeling lost or questioning yourself. And sometimes you have to find somebody that can kind of guide you. So now those mentors I had, you know, it works out in a better way. Like, I feel like a lot of us think that you're alone. And sometimes we feel like when someone gets to a certain level, they, you know they're doing so great, they don't have problems. But, through along the journey you still have problems, you still have issues, and it's good that you can learn from everybody.

Angela Yee: It's like a focus group.

Teresha McMillan: Yeah! Yes!

Aminatou Sow: That really is one of my, I think like, the biggest blessings that other black women entrepreneurs like give, is that they're so generous with their time and their ideas.

Victoria Anderson: That we're willing to learn and to share, right? So I think we're such a small community, that I've always found that when I meet other women of color, that they're like, "Oh, you're not in my industry, but have you thought about this, this, and this?"

Aminatou Sow: And a lot of times that we don't hear about that. I love that you're honest about the fact that you run a family business.

Teresha McMillan: My parents invested, so it's just, you know, I want to take care of them. I understand their sacrifice they did for me and my brother.

Angela Yee: And that's your accountability partners.

Teresha McMillan: Yeah.

Victoria Anderson: The one thing I would offer you too is, I mean, getting a financial advisor can be expensive, but to all of us point about utilizing your resources, most State Farm® agents, right, can discuss insurance and financial services, and so we don't charge for that, and you can absolutely go into a State Farm agency and say, "I want to start to talk about investing."

Angela Yee: Let me tell you something, I just, through Victoria, got life insurance. I never had it before. You know, I wish I would've did it way earlier, but it is never too late. You know, and when I started doing it, I was only putting in very minimal amount of money, but you know 10 years later…

Aminatou Sow: Like compound interest!

Victoria Anderson: I mean we all love what we do…

Everyone: Yeah.

Victoria Robinson: So, we're very committed to it, but certainly I would imagine you will want to get to a point where you can do some things other than just being in a salon every day. So, it really allows you to have that nest egg, where you know that, "As much as I love my business, there are things that I want to do personally."

Aminatou Sow: The way that I look at it is that you can put, I think it's like up to 25 percent of your income in there. And so it, again, it's like "set it and forget it"and because of the way that it is set up, it's like you're giving yourself a raise anyway.

Teresha McMillan: I want to be able to protect that business. It's my baby, I can't let her get taken away from me. She's crawling right now. I need to see her walk, see her walk right now.

Victoria Anderson: She has to go to college.

Teresha McMillan: Yes, yes. She is in elementary school right now. She ain't get to high school yet. She's almost there, she's almost there.

The Power Of Creating A Financial Vision

Ellen Osei: I'm from Ghana, and as a child of African descent, we were just taught to go to school, get a good education, do whatever you gotta do to just make it work. And then, you know for me, that was student loans and there was credit card debt and I didn't pay for any of my schooling out of pocket. So, you can imagine how much debt that is. I'm currently a doctoral student, so I've been in school for a very long time and still paying a lot of loans. Well, the good thing is that I took care of the credit card debt.

Aminatou Sow: Having an accounta-buddy has been really invaluable for me. Angela is my accountability partner…

Angela Yee: Yes, Amina is mine…

Aminatou Sow: On our Color Full Lives podcast, having to come every week and say, "Here's what I've accomplished, here is what I'm trying to do,"and have someone to bounce ideas off of definitely works.

Angela Yee: Not only should it be somebody that can inspire you and kind of counter balance whatever it is that you have going on, but then it makes you feel like the pressure of, "I'm gonna see Amina and I have to have something to tell her that I've done to work towards my goal,"and it makes you really do it. And the fact that she can give me advice and even refer me to people, that's been really helpful and great.

Ellen Osei: I didn't realize how important it was. It's like I'm that person that where they say like, "check on your strong friend."You know the one that's always like doing good? Because I'm that person that wants to mentor everybody, support everybody and then like I look back and I'm like "wait, what have I done for myself today?"And I realize I'm like, "You know, I really should have like accountability partners in like my different area…focus areas as well."

Victoria Anderson: So Ellen, I wonder if you also put some thought to how do you save to make sure that you are protecting yourself and planning for that rainy day as well as your future by considering something like a money market account where you'll get a much better interest rate than you would on a standard savings account. It'll give you that flexibility and that liquidity to get the funds whenever you like, but it'll make sure you're also balancing that scale of reducing debt while also saving for the future.

Ellen Osei: I wasn't dividing up my money and actually I didn't even have myself on the payroll, how crazy is that? Because at one point, I went from making a certain amount of money to a lot more and it put me in a different tax bracket to where you're like, "Okay, well now you need to be in escrow,"but I'm like, "What's that? I don't know what these things are."But then I think I had just never thought about those little small steps that again we were talking about. Making those smaller goals to get to larger ones, and I can think about that when it comes to my visions, but when it comes to finances, again, it was always something I would just run from, and like "Why am I running from this?"

Aminatou Sow: If you have task you don't like doing, that you are not the expert in, you have to find a way to outsource them.

Victoria Anderson: It's sometimes hard to not feel like you are the expert and one of the best things that I did was do just that. Have someone that manages it for me monthly and at tax time, because they're gonna identify things that I just don't know enough about. To make sure I'm not only protecting the business, but finding ways to help me save money.

Angela Yee: Spending a little money to save a lot more.

Color Full Lives Podcast Season 4 | Aminatou Sow

[Aminatou Sow voice] My name is Aminatou Sow. I am a podcaster.

[Angela Yee voice] I'm Angela Yee and most people know me as one of the hosts on the Breakfast club.

[Angela Yee voice] It's going to be a colorful summer because the Color Full Lives podcast is back for another season!

[Tonya Rapley voice] My name is Tonya Rapley and I'm known as the Millennial Money Expert and I'm the founder of My Fab Finance.

[Angela Yee voice] I do like the fact that certain things are being brought into these neighborhoods. But I really think it's important for us to be those people that are bringing those things into these neighborhoods.

[Aminatou Sow voice] Life and society and always going to be messed up. Every generation will have a different struggle, but things are getting better. You're not alone. This feeling really oppressed and like you can't be yourself, you're not crazy to feel that way. But I guarantee you there are people that feel the exact way and finding them is really the key to your freedom.

[Angela Yee voice] Catch it Wednesdays throughout the summer and as always, Live Color Full.

I know growing up in Brooklyn, all we had where I grew up was like you know the supermarket was just really dumpy, the lights were falling down and the food was all expired.

You know we grew up with the chicken spots, and the pizza places, and the hot dog stands, and the liquor stores and all that. So I do like the fact that certain things are being brought into these neighborhoods but I really think that it's important for us to focus on being the people that are bringing those things into the neighborhoods.

I'm Angela Yee, and most people know me as one of the hosts on \

but I also opened up Juices for Life, which is a juice bar in Brooklyn and I did that a year and a half ago. Opening this juice bar, even if it didn't make any money, was kind of like me giving back. Instead of me taking money and just donating it,it was actually opening a brick and mortar, something that I could see the results.

I saw Styles P and Jadakiss open their juice bar, I saw them talking about it, and I was like you know what instead of me trying to do something like this on my own I would love to partner up with somebody that already has an existing business and can help me out.

We got a liquor store on every corner, every corner. But you know what though? You got kids with asthma, you got kids with stomach problems, you got kids with this and that. You know. Juice for Life? Oh man. We need this so bad. We need a turnaround.

I've had people come in and tell me, you know my whole life I've never had vegetables and I've never tried this, and this is great for me. Like I feel so much better. I've had people who have lost weight. One man lost 30 pounds you know in the first few months that we opened. Because he was coming in every single day and getting a juice. And he was getting a juice for another woman who lives in his building who has cancer, and he was like it's what she looks forward to every day is him bringing her a juice.

Even if the juice bar, we end up just breaking even or not making any money it's more important to me that people can say, \

All of my entrepreneurial friends that are on the coast, I'm actively recruiting them to move to Detroit.

If you are a startup there's opportunities here, there's affordable space here, there's grants here.

I like to be the native Detroit waving their flag like \u2018come all, new look Detroit and old, we have a place for you.'

My name is Amina Daniel, and Live Cycle Delight is here for you to unlock your best potential.

I was always the only person of color in my yoga classes and I wasn't treated really well.

We have all been isolated and know what it's like to not feel included.

So I wanted an environment to be created where everyone felt like they were a part, and for it to be accessible.

Just trying to knock down all the barriers and take that 't' off the c-a-n and make it an \

This is how we become more diverse and this is kind of how people break down stereotypes.

I have a woman who is 65, she was in our 7 a.m. class, Joanne, she has beat cancer twice.

Joanne is here 6 days a week and she is so grateful to choose to live.

So it's really an opportunity to let go, whether it's your cycling class or your TRX class.

We are so connected to technology and our phones that it is a great time to really disconnect and turn inwards and tap into your better is what I like to say.

I really believe in Detroit, I believe in the revitalization of Detroit.

And Live Cycle Delight is available for all of those new people moving into Detroit who are interested in living a healthier lifestyle and want to tap into their better.

So we are here for them.

I've never thought of myself as this super tough person.

Even though I came from really rough circumstances.

And it wasn't until I left Detroit that I came back and I saw that this was kind of a bleak environment.

But that was also part of the reason why I came back and so when I saw it changing so quickly I was like, this is something that I have to be a part of.

And it's really just an exciting time to be in Detroit right now.

If you want to open or start any business, this is the place to do it because there's so much opportunity, there's so much room for growth.

Even if I don't personally stay in Detroit, this will always be The Lip Bar's home because there's no other place I would rather my business be.

I am Melissa Butler, the founder and CEO of The Lip Bar. The Lip Bar is a vegan and cruelty free beauty brand that exists to challenge the beauty standard.

So I started The Lip Bar in 2012 making lipstick in my kitchen when I was working on Wall Street.

At the time I was deciding to read all the labels on the foods that I was eating, on the products that I was using, and when it came to make up, it was very difficult to find like natural and vegan options, whereas food and body and skin care it was a breeze.

I just, I had enough, so I started making it. I decided to create a solution and I started making lipstick in my kitchen, which is insane.

We seek to be the authority on multi-cultural beauty and what that essentially means is we validate these women who are outside of traditional beauty standards because the media never gives them representation and so The Lip Bar is constantly producing jarring imagery just to say, \